An awful penalty, a severed finger and a pierced penis: football's harshest yellow and red cards

On Sunday, former Ajax, Real Madrid and AC Milan star Clarence Seedorf was sent off for only the second time in his career - for walking off the pitch too slowly.

Having just been substituted towards the end of Botafogo's 2-1 win over Madureira, the Dutchman trudged off to the other end of the pitch to waste time, rather than exit by the nearest touchline as instructed by the referee. The official promptly showed Seedorf a second yellow card, much to the veteran's delight...

Here are ten more bizarre yellow and red cards.

The footballing Russian dollThe mandatory yellow for shirt removal has always seemed miserly, but what if a player were to tear off the garment only to reveal another, identical top? Eric Hassli from Vancouver Whitecaps found out: after dinking in a penalty against New England in June 2011, he performed this daring statement – while already on a yellow – and was promptly sent off. Kudos for trying, Eric.

Thierry’s ennuiWhen Thierry Henry patted Portland Timbers’ Adam Moffatt on the head after a squabble in June 2011, the man in black weirdly decided that this constituted ‘violent conduct’. Difficult to justify – unless he just fancied dismissing the Frenchman for being a patronising git.

Fetch the rulebook! (No.1)In Greece, Asteras Tripolis’ Adrian Bastia was punished in December 2008 for tripping a pitch invader in an attempt to help apprehend the naked interloper. The referee decreed that this was worthy of a red. Cruel.

Tripping yarnPull off a Panenka successfully and you can appear rugged, fearless and sexually alluring. Do it wrong and you’re Benny Hill. Al Ahly’s Amir Sayoud found himself in the latter camp in 2011, as he attempted to convert in such a manner, but instead hoofed the ground and performed a face-plant. The official then gave him a yellow card for “disregarding an opponent” – which in Egyptian rules must translate as being a berk.

Stripped offIs undressing as you’re substituted just good pre-bath admin? Not according to Ukrainian officials. In November 2011, Dnipro’s Samuel Inkoom removed his top as he jogged off, only for the ref to wave a second yellow before his replacement could come on. His gaffer, ex-Spurs boss Juande Ramos, wasn’t understanding either, calling Inkoom’s action “unforgiveable”.

Pierced penisUnless they’re consenting adults in the privacy of their own home, a man’s Prince Albert is not something he should share with a referee. This was not the case for Aaron Eccleston from Old Hill Wanderers, Australia. After being struck in the nether regions in June 2011, Eccleston lowered his shorts to “check it was still there” (the piercing, we presume) and was sent off by the hawk-eyed official for wearing ‘dangerous jewellery’. “I don’t think my mum’s going to be happy,” said Macclesfield-born expat Eccleston afterwards.

Target practiceRefs love to give it out, but can they take it? Anzhi’s game against Zenit in Russia in 2011 suggests not. Moroccan Mbark Boussoufa gently chipped towards the spot where a free-kick had been given, brushed the ref’s back – and was angrily dismissed as if he’d kicked the ref in the swingers while calling his mum a bike. Baffling.

Fetch the rulebook! (No.2)Brazilian kid Pottker got his marching orders for Figueirense under-20s against Bahia after snaffling an uncontested drop-ball for himself and scoring, instead of the usual etiquette of kicking it back to the team originally in possession. The referee sent him off... but let the goal stand.

Ref given the fingerPlayers can take celebrations too far, but when a man is on the floor scrabbling about for a body part he’s accidentally ripped off, adding a ‘hurry up’ card to his woes seems somewhat unfair. Such a fate befell midfielder Paulo Diogo of Swiss side Servette in 2004, however, after he trapped his wedding ring in a barrier while celebrating with the fans, losing digit and ring in the process. The ref was unimpressed with Diogo’s histrionics and second-yellowed him for mucking about. The time-wasting stump was later amputated.

VIDEO Diogo's unfortunate moment(s). Contains blood...obviously

There was definitely contact, ref...But the worst decision of all? That would be the one made at Belgian game Templeuvois vs Quevy in 2011 in which the former’s Julien Lecomte was sent off for diving – while being stretchered to hospital with three displaced neck vertebrae and severe concussion having being elbowed in the head.

This article was originally published as a list in the September 2012 issue of FourFourTwo