Boluda starts to bang heads at the Bernabeu

In a mega-testosterone, time-warped environment when a team can be the bestest of all time in the morning and a big pile of poo come nightfall, three weeks in La Liga is a very, very long time indeed. But that’s about how long Vicente Boluda has been in charge at the Bernabeu since Ramón Calderón and his clan went off for a permanent party at Pachá On the footballing front, it has been simple sailing for Madrid with the side getting the job done as they try and gain ground on Barcelona. Not that everyone appreciates Juande Ramos’ efforts mind, with Sport’s Joan Batlle accusing the Castle Greyskull club of ‘total conservatism and zero creativity.” La Liga Loca suggests he tries reading an edition of his own paper one day.

Higuain keeps Real rolling, on the pitch

Behind the scenes in the boardroom, there has also been very little for the hacked-off headline writers to get their teeth into with AS peddling endless stories on Raúl and getting Wesley Sneijder to admit that he would probably have dropped himself in recent matches.

On Friday, a clearly-miffed Marca resorted to a front cover picturing a helicopter carrying away the Santiago Bernabeu with the fairly baseless accusation that the local mayor wants to move the stadium. And this, apparently, is down to the oft-mentioned ‘Boluda effect’ - a institutional situation where very little happens. Not unlike the windmills of Guti’s mind. This is partly a deliberate move away from the whirlwind days of Ramón Calderón who was drawn to controversy like Maniche is to jam.It also stems from the assumption that it probably takes the fairly inactive Boluda a very long time indeed to do anything. It may even take the repeated poking with a highly-charged cattle prod just to get him moving in the morning.In his rare TV appearances, the stand-in chieftain is often seen in his presidential chair of destiny almost snoozing through another 1-0 snore-fest. And, frankly Mr Shankly, who can blame him?

Boluda ponders his next move

Boluda didn’t even want to appear in the club’s second team photograph of the season. Pedja Mijatovic did, though. But more on that in a moment.

This general inactivity has been a common theme in his institutional dealings too. As yet, no day has been set for the presidential elections, probably because of the need to sort out the postal vote system to avoid yet more trips to the Bernabeu from the boys in blue. Although the General Assembly, which was to bring about the downfall of Calderón, has been rearranged for March, no decision has been made on what to do with Pedja Mijatovic.In theory, the sporting director should have been booted out of the Bernabeu months ago for the Huntelaar vs Diarra Champions League balls-up. And when Boluda first took over, he hinted that the slick-haired slimeball was to be tossed from the ramparts when he told Marca that, “in my company, the ones responsible would be out in the street.”But several weeks later, Mijatovic is still there and perhaps hoping that the effort and cost of airbrushing him from the team portrait is not worth his dismissal. However, Monday’s Marca reports that Pedja’s pedalo may finally have come in, with a board meeting being held to discuss what can be done with a man with the survival instincts of a Big Brother winner, a contract until 2010 and a reported million a year salary.“He has the courage that Calderón lacked,” opined the paper’s editorial on Boluda’s apparent stance. “He will sack Mijatovic.”There was cheerier news for poor Pedja on Tuesday, with Roberto Gómez - a man who is to forecasting what Robben is to haircare - predicting that “it’s a question of hours before the sporting director has to back his bags and leave the club.”

Mijatovic: Set to be given the heave-ho

There may also be action taken to claw back the pay-off made to Luís Barcena who was sacked over the General Assembly scandal.

AS report that his golden handshake was a whopping 450,000 euro with Marca insisting the pay-out was a more eye-popping 800,000. Nevertheless, Barcena may well be losing his loot very soon. And, quite probably, his oft-pictured supermodel lady friend who almost certainly loves him for his looks.“He’s responsible for one of the most serious scandals in the history of the club and Madrid cannot nor should not pay off his contract,” fumed an unnamed director to Marca. If the paper is correct then there will be a veritable burst of activity over the next few weeks at the Bernabeu. However, La Liga Loca has a tingly feeling that Boluda may instead choose to keep himself busy by doing nothing.

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