"˜Bum-brigand"™ not on banned list, Liverpool confirm

"Other similar references to brigandage of the bum are completely fine by us"

Liverpool Football Club have issued all staff with a list of unacceptable words and phrases, in the hope that this will prevent any unwanted off-field controversies enveloping the club this season.

According to a leaked document seen by FourFourTwo.com, Reds officials will no longer be allowed to call anyone '˜she-man'™, '˜beefeater'™, or '˜knob-jockey'™, nor will they be permitted to use slurs like '˜pole smoker'™ or '˜backdoor bandit'™.

'˜Georgie boy, '˜macaroon'™ and '˜candlestick maker'™ are also out, according to the new rules, as are phrases like '˜hush little chickadee'™ and '˜that'™s not the big boy mustard'™.

In a surprising development, however, the club took pains to confirm that the term '˜bum brigand'™ would continue to be welcome at Anfield.

'œThe club wishes to eradicate any form of discriminatory behavior both on and off the football pitch, and there are a number of offensive words which the club considers unacceptable,' the leaked statement reads.

'œHowever, after careful consideration of the arguments, we have decided to omit the term '˜bum-brigand' from the banned list. '˜Bum-brigand'™ and other similar references to brigandage of the bum are completely fine by us.'

There has been speculation on Twitter about a parallel list of accepted slurs, headed by '˜bum-brigand'™ and believed to include '˜window-dresser'™, '˜varmint'™, and '˜spatchcock'™, though Liverpool have so far refused to comment.


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