Challenge Johnnika...

So Mark Hughes thinks John Terry should join Manchester City for the "challenge."

It's an admirable thought, but we think the all-action centre-back should set his sights a little higher than swapping one billionaire-bankrolled club for another.

So FourFourTwo proudly announces the start of Challenge Johnnika, a potential TV series in which our hero is set a variety of tasks to prove his mettle.

"Is it a bird, is it a plane..." 

First up, one he could do without leaving London.

Last night – as followers of our Twitter feed will know – a brave footballer clambered onto Trafalgar Square's fourth plinth and did keepy-uppies for an hour in order to raise awareness of women's football.

Now, men's football hardly needs be pushed further forward in the public's mind, but JT could tie it to another worthy cause - perhaps the PFA.

After all, it's not easy flinging yourself in amongst the flying elbows for a pitiful £100,000 a week.

While raising awareness, JT could be set an old teaser - patting his head while rubbing his belly.

Not to indicate condescension or hunger, but the difficult combination of spatial awareness and motor control necessary to succeed at football's highest levels.

"It's harder than it sounds, this" 

Having demonstrated his flexibility, JT could associate himself with another popular entertainer by shadowing Keith Chegwin for a week.

Trailing a man who has had to deal with the ups and downs of public affection and attention would make for fascinating TV, especially if JT breaks down while recalling his Moscow misery.

While on an emotional roller-coaster, JT could comprehensively blow Justin Lee Collins out of the water by finding and hugging every cast member from '80s TV favourites Streethawk, Manimal and Airwolf.

Demonstrating dogged determination would make for excellent TV and would only raise the public's opinion of the man who could, by now, conceivably run for Prime Minister.

Speaking of which, PM JT could step in on a very serious issue.

With swine flu running rampant and the government unable to distribute treatment as fast as the pandemic spreads, JT could use his role as captain of England to organise a human chain of football fans distributing the drugs around the country to save the children.

They are, after all, the consumers of tomorrow.

"OK, well two's a start. Where's everybody else?" 

With the country saved and drawing a deep breath (much deeper than it could have done with irreparably damaged lungs), JT could dial it down a notch with more trivial pursuits.

He could make a miniature sculpture of the Bee Gees out of earwax, or sellotape a kitten to Celine Dion's ankle without her knowing.

Or - and bear with us on this one - lead Chelsea to the Champions League final.

Second thoughts, that one might be a bit far-fetched...

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