Fran MÃÂ©rida, AtlÃÂ©tico MadridSurely LLL can't be alone in completely forgetting about the existence of the AtlÃÂ©tico Madrid midfielder formerly known as the "new Fabregas".
Apparently, the 21-year-old made 17 league appearances for the Rojiblancos after his move from Arsenal in the summer of 2009, but this blog cannot remember a single minute of any of them. And records show that LLL was present and correct in the Vicente CalderÃÂ³n for many of them.
Then again, LLL tends to have second-half blackouts during AtlÃÂ©tico games, due to the brain shutting down for its own protection. That and the huge clouds created by the jazz cigarettes which are regular features in the stands.
MÃÂ©rida is one product of La Masia that Barcelona have no great desire to get back. For the current campaign at his current club, he is stuck in a logjam behind six other central midfielders.
Sergio GarcÃÂa, EspanyolA Euro 2008 winner, no less, who disappeared from this particular dimension Ã¢ÂÂ first by moving to Betis, and then sticking with the unfortunate Andalusians in the wilderness of la Segunda. In summer 2010 his chubby little chops popped up at Espanyol after a Ã¢ÂÂ¬1.8m move to El Prat land.
The Barcelona-born forward managed 21 fairly forgettable performances and four goals before falling injured in March. It was only when LLL had a look at the clubÃ¢ÂÂs squad list to see how much trouble theyÃ¢ÂÂd be in if Osvaldo left that it remembered the ponytailed 'poacher'.
Tom De Mul, SevillaLLL certainly recalls the Belgian midfielder being signed in the summer of 2007, but after that itÃ¢ÂÂs an enormous, alien-probing-sized blank. Investigation shows this is because De Mul managed just nine league appearances in two seasons before going on loan to Genk in 2008/2009 before missing the entire past season through injury.
Tom is back in Seville and finds himself behind JesÃÂºs Navas and Manu Del Moral in the right midfield queue, so a freebie return to Belgium looks on the cards.
Arouna KonÃÂ©, SevillaThe Ivory Coast striker came from PSV Eindhoven in 2007 and was SevillaÃ¢ÂÂs record transfer at Ã¢ÂÂ¬12m, a figure since beaten by Alvaro Negredo. But unlike SevillaÃ¢ÂÂs stroppy Spanish striker, KonÃÂ© has achieved zip all at the Ramon Sanchez Pizjuan.
Mind you, this is not entirely the IvorianÃ¢ÂÂs fault, due to two serious knee injuries in four years. KonÃÂ© missed much of the 2008/09 campaign and went on loan to Hannover the following year before returning to Sevilla, where another knee injury kept the forward out of action until the beginning of 2011. So far, SevillaÃ¢ÂÂs Ã¢ÂÂ¬12m outlay has produced just one league goal for the club.
Alexander Hleb, BarcelonaJust think. The man from Minsk got to flounce about on holiday this summer telling all and sundry, quite accurately, that he is a Barcelona player. Fans of the club had clean forgotten this and it wouldnÃ¢ÂÂt be at all a surprise if Pep Guardiola himself responded to a reminder on the first day of pre-season training with Ã¢ÂÂHleb? At the front gates? Is he? Really? Why? How?Ã¢ÂÂ
Now 30, the midfielder came from Arsenal in 2008, didnÃ¢ÂÂt do a great deal, went to Stuttgart, then to Birmingham. Technically, should the Belarus-born footballer so desire, he could sit around by the Med getting paid by Barcelona for doing diddly-squat until next June.