Embarrassment as it emerges that Tahiti is uninhabited

Oops - apparently, there's nobody there

The organisers of the Confederations Cup have promised to launch an inquiry after a simple Google search revealed the island of Tahiti to be uninhabited.

The revelation that Tahiti is in fact a deserted Pacific Ocean atoll mainly populated by kookaburras, New Guinean cuscuses and small-clawed otters was a massive blow to FIFA officials coming just hours after Tahiti'™s 10-0 defeat against Spain at the Maracana.

There is now enormous pressure to ascertain how such an error was made and to work out who exactly has been playing in Confederations Cup Group B.

"We can'™t deny that this a black eye for us," a spokesman told FourFourTwo.

"œIt'™s becoming clear that nobody actually checked whether Tahiti were in fact the champions of Oceania. When these guys showed up with tracksuits on we took their word for it. I mean, who would lie their way into the Confederations Cup?"

Pundits had expressed their surprise that Tahiti rather than New Zealand had shown up for the competition and in hindsight there were warning signs.

"œIt did ring alarm bells when each of the Tahiti players sung a different anthem and most of them were just bellowing "˜Tahiti, Tahiti"™ again and again.

"œAnd now I come to think about it, their '˜coach'™ is a gecko. But I'™m no expert in these things, none of us are. If any of us cared about places like Tahiti we wouldn'™t be working here. We're really more about the lunches and getting discounted shares in hotel chains.

"We will launch a full investigation. I just feel for the fans who have been forced to watch these heart-warming mismatches instead of a functional New Zealand side losing 2-0 three times."


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