The feather-ruffling banjo-playing Premier Review

The week's main news off the field came from Manchester about the group looking to buy out the Glazers: the Red Knights. Green and yellow scarves have been multiplying in the Stretford End for weeks; now we know why, and it’s nothing to do with Newton Heath.

NEWS: Red Knights will not overpay for Man United

Does the name Keith Harris ring a bell? If it doesn’t then you’re extremely lucky, but for those of you who remember the name, and who can forget the UK’s No.1 light entertainer?

We can only hope that the group gets its wish, not only because it would be refreshing for the game, but also because of the new badge they’re hoping will adorn the team’s original coloured shirts:

On the field, they took advantage of Chelsea’s FA Cup involvement to sneak their way back to the top of the league. But they made tough work of Wolves at Molineux, grinding out another of those performances euphemistically described as “title-winning” everywhere but Barcelona.

Paul Scholes should be congratulated for his winner, which was also his 100th Premier League goal; according to Sky TV, only 19 players have reached 100 goals in the top division. (It’s funny how many people ignore league championships before 1993 yet constantly remind us about Wembley and 1966).

Lucky for Scholes, Wolves striker Sam Vokes missed his team’s best chance of the day, and quite possibly of their entire 133-year history.

Only six yards out and given enough time to read War and Peace, he skied the ball into row Z – not an easy thing to do at Molineux, those stands are miles away.

On the subject of misses – don’t worry, it’s not another John Terry story – how about that Nicklas Bendtner? His efforts on goal seem to be about as down to earth as his personality. Cow’s arses went unthreatened as the Dane walked around with a banjo.

Lucky for the Gunners, they do have some goalscorers keeping them in sight of Man United and Chelsea. Juliette Binoche lookalike Sami Nasri beautifully provided the pass of the season for Cesc Fabregas’s strike in the 3-1 home win over struggling Burnley.

Turnaround of the weekend came in Everton’s 5-1 drubbing of Hull at Goodison. Landon Donovan made up for his unbelievable miss last week to cause much louder chanting of “USA, USA” than Anfield fans can manage.

Crap Kits

Kevin Davies powered in a glorious header for the first and on loan Jack Wilshere added a second as the Bolton took an early 2-0 lead, in their deserved and much needed 2-1 win over West Ham, seeing them leapfrog over the Hammers.

Sadly, the Trotters’ victory was dampened not by Tamir Cohen’s sending off, but by the fact that they are wearing arguably the worst kit ever produced for a top-flight team. You can be sure that Gary Megson’s to blame somewhere down the line.

That West Ham one’s pushing it too!

And finally, with a smaller schedule this weekend, The Draw Specialist was looking forward to reporting on all the games including the Monday night clash between Wigan and Liverpool.

However, those tuning to ESPN couldn’t find anything resembling a Premier League game...

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