The forgotten man of Spanish football

A large chunk of the transfer talk over the summer has been David Villa’s ‘will he, won’t he, loves me, loves me not’ move to either Real Madrid or Barcelona.

But it seems that this particular chapter in the year long saga has been closed - until at least Christmas - with the Mestalla forward’s declaration on Tuesday that “I was told I should leave Valencia for the good of the club, but then soon after everything changed.”

But there is a curious case of another Spanish striker who was also pushed and prodded onto the transfer market - a striker who is a Euro 2008 winner, a former top scorer in la Liga and a footballer who is guaranteed to bang the ball into the onion bag wherever he plays.

But there has not been a single iddy-biddy story linking this mystery man to club in la Liga - a fairly astonishing occurrence for the gossip-crazy local press.

That footballer is Dani Güiza.

At time of writing, Güiza is on the brink of a move from Fenerbahce to Lyon for 12 million euros.

And it looks like a smart move from the French club who are looking to the Spaniard to replace the lost goals of Karim Benzema - last seen hobbling past the blog at the Bernabeu on Tuesday night pretending to talk into his mobile - and partner the ex-Porto striker Lisandro Lopez.

So the big, burning question to be asked is why Spanish clubs, to coin a phrase, “wouldn’t touch him with yours.”

After all, the 28 year-old knows la Liga inside out and is a proven scorer at club and international level.

Güiza popped in 20 goals for little old Getafe in 61 games, but it was at Mallorca where he really shone by becoming la Liga's ‘Pichichi’ with an astonishing 27 strikes in 2008.

But even that wasn’t enough to keep him in Spain, with Fenerbahce bringing the Andalusian to the Turkish league.

Although not as prolific as in previous seasons, Güiza still managed 11 goals in 31 under the stewardship of Luis Aragónes.

So what has stopped a Spanish club bringing the Jerez-born forward home?

The 12 million euros fee is certainly too steep for most cash-strapped clubs in the league, but the likes of Atlético or Villarreal could probably scrape together the funds for a player who is guaranteed to bring in a good 20 goals.

The blog has spent some time asking the movers and shakers in the world of Spanish footie what’s going on with Güiza.

And the answer that came back is that he always brings more baggage with him than Maniche heading to a picnic.

It won’t take more than a second for the FourFourTwo lawyers to agree with the statement that Güiza has always enjoyed the excellent social life offered by Spain.

During his time at Getafe, club president Angel Torres complained that the forward would ring him up in the early hours of the morning completely lost in the mean streets of Madrid and asking for help in getting home.

This is partly due to the fact that - as the other half of La Liga Loca admitted in somewhat cruel fashion - Güiza is “the thickest person I have ever met.”

Even the forward himself famously admitted that “the night confuses me” - so much so that Getafe were forced to put him on special diet of pureed food after he picked up stomach problems having enjoyed one too many, too many times in the Spanish capital.

Güiza’s tales of tabloid woes are legendary, and include the time when he was very nearly dropped from the Spain squad after breaking the rules by having his ex-wife spend the night with him in the team hotel before the recent friendly against England.

In his defence, the international forward claimed that the nookie-free night was a chance for him to catch up with his son.

Güiza’s relationship with his on-off partner, agent and boob-outer, Nuria Bermúdez, is also an issue for many potential suitors.

And that’s not even mentioning his mad old mother.

All-in-all, it seems a tad harsh that no-one in Spain seems willing to take a chance on Güiza.

The forward seems like a simple but misunderstood soul, from very humble origins but perhaps a player who needs a prison cell to live in when the sun goes down.

But the message on behalf of anyone living in sizzling Spain is “don’t we all?”

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