The best and worst of the La Liga weekend...
Ricardo CarvalhoOff the field, the Real Madrid defender has a delicate, almost ladylike way about him not too dissimilar to that of another footballing beast that LLL rubbed shoulders with once - well, perhaps rubbed shoulder to hip - Julio Baptista.
But in the footballing mix, Carvalho is as tough as John Wayne's boots and had a fine derby day by opening the scoring for Madrid and dealing with whatever the AtlÃÂ©tico attack offered up before leaving the pitch after being smacked in the eye.
It was a performance that saw Marca yell Ã¢ÂÂCarvalhazo!Ã¢ÂÂ on Monday's front cover Ã¢ÂÂ a deserved accolade for surely the best value of JosÃÂ© MourinhoÃ¢ÂÂs summer signings, especially when taking into account the early season injuries to fellow centre-backs RaÃÂºl Albiol and Ezequiel Garay.
Aside from the former Chelsea man, there isnÃ¢ÂÂt too much else to be said over a clash that is constantly hyped to pieces in the Madrid media but, like AtlÃÂ©tico Madrid, largely fails to deliver.
Leo MessiShows absolutely no signs of slowing down, maybe because much of the forwardÃ¢ÂÂs game is played in the 30-metre Ã¢ÂÂzone of terrorÃ¢ÂÂ where little Leo has scored in five consecutive matches for PepÃ¢ÂÂs Dream Boys.
Borja ValeroThere was much teeth-gnashing and potty-mouthed swearing in the LLL household when it realised far too late that the Villarreal v Athletic Bilbao clash was on TV due to a bit of a schedule change-around.
Juan Carlo GarridoÃ¢ÂÂs men are still the best non-BarÃÂ§a side to watch this season and spanked Athletic Bilbao red raw on Sunday afternoon with a devastating counter-attacking display marshaled by Santi Cazorla and the brilliant Borja Valero. Unfortunately, the blog could only enjoy the trailer rather than the main event.
EspanyolGadzooks! If Valencia fail to beat Sevilla, Espanyol will stay in the Champions League places after a 1-0 win over MÃÂ¡laga, despite having scored just nine goals in 10 games! HereÃ¢ÂÂs Paul from Barcelona with further explanation on the mad goings-on in El Prat-land.
Ã¢ÂÂQuick seems to be the way to go here. Quick goal from Espanyol in 50-odd seconds. A long-range belter from man of the match Javi Marquez. Arnau should have saved it. He didn't want to hurt his hand, it seemed. He has a record of doing this, as BarÃÂ§a fans might remember. Roberto Carlos free-kick, anyone ?
"Osvaldo missed a good chance then it was deja-vu. Espanyol did all they could to throw it away but MÃÂ¡laga's 4-6-0 formation was never going to score. They showed some life when ex-Arsenal man Quincy came on. He hit the bar with a rocket Ã¢ÂÂ not bad for a 88-year-old ex-medical examiner. One for the teenagers there.
"That was it. A pretty poor game. Espanyol didn't play well but won. MÃÂ¡laga, great pace on the wings but final delivery was a shambles.
"150 MÃÂ¡laga fans, 20-or-so shirtless. An ex-pat stag night would be my guess [Brits abroad, Guiri-Army peÃÂ±a, perhaps - LLL]. Average ref.
"MÃÂ¡laga might just stay up due to there being three worse teams in Zaragoza, AlmerÃÂa and Racing (who'll beat us next week). Espanyol, at time of writing, are in the Champions League places. Not going to stay that way but Europa League spot is there for the taking."
-- Paul, Barcelona
Real SociedadNot exactly the most stimulating of games, but Real SociedadÃ¢ÂÂs 1-0 victory over Racing Santander was notable for the eight Ã¢ÂÂcanteraÃ¢ÂÂ players in the Basque sideÃ¢ÂÂs starting XI. Sadly, there was no repeat of the car-based celebrations for Joseba LlorenteÃ¢ÂÂs winner to liven things up a tad.
DeportivoLLL never doubted them for a second! A second win on the trot for deadly Depor with a 2-1 victory away at Levante that sees the gallant Galicians out of the relegation zone by two whole points.
ZaragozaWhen watching Zaragoza this season, LLL has always felt that there was some zing and zest about the side even if there wasn't much evidence of quality. It was this vim that saw the home side coming from 2-1 down against Mallorca with six minutes to go to win 3-2, ZaragozaÃ¢ÂÂs first victory of the season.
OsasunaA hefty 3-0 win over the typically inconsistent HÃÂ©rcules moves Osasuna into 12th. All three goals came from set-pieces, but the variation from the normal Osasuna theme is that none came from the head of Walter Pandiani, because he was out injured.
Nacho NovoA first goal in la Primera for the former Rangers man gives Sporting just their second point on their travels.
Getafe An exasperating first half of Sunday night's Coliseum clash with Barcelona. Although going toe-to-toe with the Catalan club is not the easiest of asks, some kind of effort and commitment from MÃÂchelÃ¢ÂÂs men would have been nice.
Javier ArizmendiA classic moment for the gangly chance-waster when one-on-one with VÃÂctor VÃÂ¡ldez in the second half - looking a little lost at what he was supposed to do (the same look LLL used to have when going into Argos) before missing with typical style and aplomb.
Gerard PiquÃÂ© The Barcelona manÃ¢ÂÂs sending off was not the result of a yellow card from a handball in the box as many people may have assumed, but due to the direct intervention of JosÃÂ© Mourinho. ThatÃ¢ÂÂs what Mundo Deportivo claim, anyway, responding to jibes from the Madrid manager that BarÃÂ§a get an easy ride from refs.
Ã¢ÂÂReal Madrid moaning is nothing new and gets rewards,Ã¢ÂÂ complains JM Artells, Ã¢ÂÂbut refereeing from a press room is certainly new.Ã¢ÂÂ
AtlÃÂ©tico MadridMore of a Ã¢ÂÂdayÃ¢ÂÂ for AtlÃÂ©tico Madrid rather than a Ã¢ÂÂbad dayÃ¢ÂÂ, considering the Rojiblancos haven't won a derby since October 1999.
Note also that Quique SÃÂ¡nchez Flores was looking cooler than ever after the game with a new beardy look. Ã¢ÂÂWe missed four chances but they scored theirs,Ã¢ÂÂ noticed the AtlÃÂ©tico manager after yet another defeat against Real Madrid.
AlmerÃÂaMore dropped points at home for AlmerÃÂa sees the spiky pendulum of doom moving once again in the direction of manager Juanma Lillo.
MÃÂ¡lagaAnother defeat sees MÃÂ¡laga rock bottom of the table and with Manuel Pellegrini landed with a heck of a job when he starts work with the southern side this week.
Cristiano RonaldoTwo goals against HÃÂ©rcules, four against Racing and two against MÃÂ¡laga. None against AC Milan and AtlÃÂ©tico. Just sayinÃ¢ÂÂ... [Raised-eyebrows naughty look]