BREAKING NEWS.... BREAKING NEWS....BREAKING NEWS.....
In the Champions League draw on Friday morning, Villarreal and Atlético Madrid have been landed Panathinaikos and Porto respectively... the two clubâÂÂs Real Madrid were desperate to get.
Real Madrid have got... Liverpool! Ha Ha!! Another short-lived campaign for the BlancoâÂÂs is the immediate thought from the blog.
And Lyon take on Barcelona. Three from four of Spain to go through to the next round or can a rebuilt Madrid make it a clean sweep?
Saturday
Real Madrid (6th) vs Valencia (2nd)
While itoâÂÂs true that La Liga Loca may be wearing a cuddly sweater of suspicion this morning to battle the frosty temperatures of SpainâÂÂs smoggy capital, it still senses something fishy going on at Castle Greyskull.
For once, this doesnâÂÂt involve over inflated transfer fees, credit card bills, season ticket waiting lists or postal votes but recent declarations that there would be one or two more signings over the winter transfer window.
The blog is willing to count Klaas-Jan Huntelaar as a proper new player but it was amazed to see those cheeky chappies at the Bernabeu âÂÂunveilingâ Dani Parejo on Thursday evening - a footballer returning from a loan spell. At QPR.
If that is new signing number one, then Calderón and co are going to have to pull something big out of their hat of hot air, as it looks like Diarra II - as he is referred to in some areas of the Spanish press - is demanding more money than Madrid are willing to pay.
Away from tedious transfer talk, it was business as usual for Madrid with the clubâÂÂs sadistic special forces training staff welcoming, Castilla player, Daniel Opare to first-team practice for the first time. The Ghanian youngster is now out for 10 weeks after breaking his foot.
And on the quickest of side notes, a message to AS who have Ashley Young on FridayâÂÂs front cover. No, he isnâÂÂt known as âÂÂthe new Beckhamâ and no, he isnâÂÂt a fixture in CapelloâÂÂs England side.
LLL Prediction - Away win
Espanyol (17th) vs Atletico (5th)
Thursday was Atlético MadridâÂÂs big Christmas party, which was the cue for a fantastic Friday photo-fest of fur coat wearing, make-up gun set to âÂÂwhoreâ (thank you, the Simpsons) old battle-axes noshing down free ham and booze. And their wives, too.
The shindig was yet another opportunity for, club president, Enrique Cerezo to declare his love for ex-owner Jesus Gil. Especially as members of the now very dead dinosaurâÂÂs family were in attendance at the event.
âÂÂNobody would want to be here more than my friend, Jesus Gil,â sighed Cerezo as he reflected on happy days when GilâÂÂs mob would head to Madrid from Marbella armed with envelopes of cash stolen from the local tax payers to fund the capital city club.
âÂÂA very entertaining speech,â gushed AS.
LLL Prediction - Home win
Sunday
Mallorca (18th) vs Sevilla (3rd)
Both sides will be a little bit down in the dumps this weekend, having had seven days to forget. Maudlin MallorcaâÂÂs plight got that little bit worse, when club president and, no-pot-to-pee-in owner, Vicente Grande stepped down with Juan Antonio Ramonell taking over the Balearic throne.
And the former mayor of Montuiri looks like he ticks all the boxes to be a big cheese in La Liga - shiny suit, slicked-back hair and a history of working in the real estate business.
SevillaâÂÂs problems have been very much on the pitch, with âÂÂthe best team in the world and the best coach in the worldâ - according to José Maria del Nido - being booted out of the UEFA Cup after Thursday nightâÂÂs defeat to Sampdoria.
âÂÂAh, nuts,â grumbled Manolo Jiménez after the game. Probably.
LLL Prediction - Draw
Osasuna (20th) vs Getafe (9th)
Yay! ItâÂÂs time for part three of âÂÂChurchillian promises from Pamplonaâ with more misplaced declarations of fighting spirit from the Osasuna camp.
And itâÂÂs a series that will go on and on and on until the blog grows bored of the riff - highly unlikely, looking at its past history - or the Osasuna players start sobbing during their daily press grillings.
Despite one win in 15, nine points grabbed and just 11 goals scored, there is still fight in the old mountain dog with nut-job in chief Walter Pandiani declaring that âÂÂthe team is showing character and we are very much alive.âÂÂ
âÂÂBravo!â says the blog, and itâÂÂs the same message to Josetxo who opines that âÂÂwe have to hang on to the fact that the team is still alive in La Liga.âÂÂ
LLL Prediction - Draw
Deportivo (7th) vs Recreativo (19th)
No matter what result Deportivo get these days, the side always finishes the round of matches in seventh. Over the past four weeks, the gallant Galicians have won three and lost one. But stayed in seventh.
And La Liga Loca expects the same result after SundayâÂÂs horrible rain-soaked 2-0 win over Recreativo.
LLL Prediction - Home win
Numancia (16th) vs Valladolid (8th)
Normally, ValladolidâÂÂs Marca corespondent would be spending his days having a good scratch and contemplating the eight-week long public holiday to come. But not this season. On no.
ThatâÂÂs because Valladolid are a booty-kicking rock and roll football machine who have taken 13 points from 15 and given the likes of Sevilla and Real Madrid a thorough sporting spanking.
So whatâÂÂs the big news from the club according to our hyped-up hack? âÂÂValladolidâÂÂs fan clubs will take seven coaches to Soria!â - a headline that even makes La Liga Loca look vaguely in touch with sporting reality.
LLL Prediction - Away win
Racing (13th) vs Málaga (10th)
The second side to fall by the UEFA Cup wayside - a fairly difficult task to achieve, letâÂÂs face it - is Racing Santander. After a 765 year wait for their first taste of hot European action, the Cantabricos crash out despite a plucky 3-1 win over Man City.
âÂÂNothing strange happened here,â shrugged Mark Hughes. Racing went out due to a superior goal difference for PSG, and itâÂÂs only a matter of days before Michel PlatiniâÂÂs name is dragged into conspiratorial suspicion.
Unfortunately, the knockout means that it will be another millennium before Racing face the likes of FC Snoorgenbord again, so it will only be our alien overlords and Paco Chaparro around to witness it.
LLL Prediction - Draw
Sporting (12th) vs AlmerÃÂa (15th)
One of the most admired aspects of Sweden is its health system - a system of such order and efficiency that is the envy of the world. But that reputation may be in tatters, says thelocal.se
âÂÂTwo doctors from Karlskrona in southern Sweden have been reprimanded for failing to spot the five centimetre piece chunk of a pencil lodged in the brain of a 14-year-old boy.
Jimmy Pettersson was admitted to Blekinge Hospital in January with part of a pencil sticking out from just above his right eye.
The pencil had penetrated PetterssonâÂÂs eyelid after he had tripped and fallen on it earlier in the day while holding the pencil in his hand.âÂÂ
LLL Prediction - Home win
Villarreal (4th) vs Barcelona (1st)
The Catalan clubâÂÂs ongoing campaign for opposition players to hand Leo Messi a nice glass of Baileys and read him a bedtime story, rather than tackle him, suffered another set back on Thursday.
Earlier in the week, club overlord Johan Cruyff said that booting the midget maestro was fair game. Then statistics were published proving that Messi was only the fifth most kicked player in the Primera. One of those lucky few who finished above him, Santi Cazorla, has told the Barca player to stop being such a big baby.
âÂÂThereâÂÂs always kicking, itâÂÂs ok,â boasted VillarrealâÂÂs tough cookie. âÂÂBoth Senna and I take loads of knocks, but we assume that itâÂÂs normal.âÂÂ
LLL Prediction - Home win
Betis (11th) vs Athletic (14th)
Happy memories for both Betis and Athletic fans for this fixture, as it was last season when poor old visiting goalkeeper Armando was hit by a bottle thrown from the stands.
And La Liga Loca feels that with this recent history, the boozy Christmas holidays and Betisâ legendary security staff, nothing could possibly go wrong on Sunday evening.
Especially with a former Sevilla manager, JoaquÃÂn Caparrós, on the bench and ex-player in their Basque ranks.
âÂÂI expect a good atmosphere,â says Aitor Ocio hopefully.
LLL Prediction - Home win
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