RESULTS Sun Jan 3: AlmerÃÂa 1-0 Xerez Getafe 1-0 Real Valladolid Mallorca 2-0 Athletic Bilbao Osasuna 0-0 Real Madrid Racing Santander 2-0 Tenerife Real Zaragoza 0-0 Deportivo La CoruÃÂ±a Sporting GijÃÂ³n 2-2 MÃÂ¡laga Sat Jan 2: AtlÃÂ©tico Madrid 2-1 Sevilla Barcelona 1-1 Villarreal Valencia 1-0 Espanyol
At last, AtlÃÂ©tico have found a true shambles of a side that are bigger bottlers than themselves and thatÃ¢ÂÂs Sevilla.
If you didn't know the result of SaturdayÃ¢ÂÂs clash and heard the phrases "opposition down to 10 men" and "injury-time winner" youÃ¢ÂÂd have sworn that Atleti were kicking off the new year with more of the same disastrous but wonderful comedy fare.
However, the kittens were turned topsy-turvy at a Vicente CalderÃÂ³n stadium that went loco in a very different way after Antonio LÃÂ³pezÃ¢ÂÂs late, late winner.
At the beginning of 2009, the ever-excellent movie critic Mark Kermode reviewed Bride Wars and made the ultimatum that if he saw 10 worse films than that rom-com dross over the course of the year then he would quit his job.
Now regular readers will know that the blog likes nothing more than stealing other peopleÃ¢ÂÂs ideas, so it is now making the declaration that if sees 10 worse halves of football (that donÃ¢ÂÂt involve Deportivo) than SundayÃ¢ÂÂs opening 45 minutes between Mallorca and Athletic Bilbao, then it will move to France and start writing La Ligue Folle.
Thankfully, the match got a little better after half-time and Mallorca scored two to make it eight wins from eight at home and move them into fourth.
Which is, quite frankly, mental.
The fickle locals in Mestalla were just seconds away from getting their hankies out for a good old wa... (Easy! - Ed.) ...ve at a bunch of players that were being held 0-0 at home by Espanyol.
"Sorry, it's a bit stiff"
A furious duel between Carlos Kameni in the visitorsÃ¢ÂÂ goal and David Villa looked like leading to a stalemate before substitute Nikola Zigic used his 27-foot height advantage to score another insanely late winner and make Valencia the only side in the old top four to win this weekend.
Ã¢ÂÂWhoÃ¢ÂÂs the daddy!?Ã¢ÂÂ (cups an expectant ear to the blog readership).
Yes, itÃ¢ÂÂs Getafe whoÃ¢ÂÂs the daddy after the 1-0 drubbing of Valladolid Ã¢ÂÂ their third win in a row and the fifth in six.
However, they were a tad jammy this time round with ValladolidÃ¢ÂÂs Alberto Bueno having a perfectly legal goal ruled out for offside.
A 2-2 draw away at Sporting sees the team still stuck in the relegation quagmire but unbeaten in seven.
Only one of those games has been a win, mind, which might help to explain their still perilous predicament.
La Liga Loca still loves this club to bits.
Similar to Athletic Bilbao with their eternal love of long balls and elbows, but possessing that extra aggression and general nastiness that makes them much more pleasurable to watch.
SundayÃ¢ÂÂs shutout of Real Madrid was Osasuna in Ã¢ÂÂin its purest formÃ¢ÂÂ says AS in a comment that, despite its rather snooty intentions, La Liga Loca interprets as a compliment.
Juan Manuel Lillo
The new AlmerÃÂa manager has been away from the top flight for nine years so is quite new to the blog.
However, early probes into his nature have been returned with descriptions of him being like a very narky Alan Ball.
Very promising, indeed.
The blogÃ¢ÂÂs first proper sight of a possible new hero was of a gentleman in his late forties, a tremendous combed-back Lovejoy mullet (is that a legal requirement at AlmerÃÂa?) - and the air of a keyboard player from an '80s prog-rock supergroup.
Incidentally, he began his AlmerÃÂa career with a 1-0 win over Xerez.
"Supergroup, you say?"
La Liga Loca has a simple policy with buskers. If it likes them, then it may, just may, give them some money.
If it doesnÃ¢ÂÂt, then the blog takes great joy in booting their money pot across the floor. Especially if they're playing flamenco.
Marca and AS have a similar approach to Real Madrid. The previous roundÃ¢ÂÂs 6-0 win over Zaragoza saw the side as the champions-in-waiting.
SundayÃ¢ÂÂs goalless draw against Osasuna is a result that would be shrugged off quite quickly in England in the equivalent fixture.
In Spain it means that Madrid are a shower and Manuel Pellegrini must go. Again.
The Argentinian is never going to be liked by Marca because he scores goals from time to time (unlike, to take one random example, KakÃÂ¡), isnÃ¢ÂÂt especially sexy or famous and was signed by RamÃÂ³n CalderÃÂ³n and not Florentino PÃÂ©rez.
Therefore, HiguaÃÂnÃ¢ÂÂs second-half miss in a one-on-one with Ricardo will surely lead to his imminent benching in favour of Florentino favourite Karim Benzema.
Hopefully, the world is laughing and pointing at RonaldoÃ¢ÂÂs ludicrous first-half bunny-hop penalty-seeking antics.
Simple advice: if you're going to cheat, at least get the timing right.
"Unbelievable, Gonzo, you muppet"
Ã¢ÂÂChampions cannot failÃ¢ÂÂ yells MondayÃ¢ÂÂs Marca in response to MadridÃ¢ÂÂs missed opportunity to go top of the table after BarcelonaÃ¢ÂÂs draw with Villarreal.
"Au contraire" says La Liga Loca. Champions can fail, as the current ones have just proved having gotten away with an indifferent performance on Saturday night to stay top of the table.
Xavi, Zlatan Ibrahimovic
Barcelona were lucky to avoid having two penalties being given against them thanks to the mercy of the referee, yet both Xavi and Zlatan huffed and puffed their way through the game pouting and complaining like a couple of ninnies over some of the decisions being made against their side.
Nothing less than dreadful at the moment. Needs a nun to slap him out of it, Airplane-style.
Over Christmas, JosÃÂ© Aurelio Gay was confirmed as the new Zaragoza boss, having impressed his bosses enough with his leadership during the 6-0 tonking at the Bernabeu.
And due to the fact that Victor MuÃÂ±oz wanted more money.
And Gay began in fine style by dropping Roberto Ayala and striker Ewerthon, saying that Ã¢ÂÂwe need 11 players on the pitch, not eight-and-a-halfÃ¢ÂÂ.
That made little difference on Sunday, Zaragoza starting the new year with a goalless draw against Deportivo.
Incidentally, a Google search to confirm GayÃ¢ÂÂs full name brought up a curious list of establishments to visit in the Aragonese city.
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