Oi Kaka, fancy becoming the new Denilson?

The law of unintended consequences may complicate Real Madrid’s interest in Cristiano Ronaldo. If Kaka, the fourth best player in the world (according to FIFA) is worth £103m, how much is CR7 worth?The rumoured Real offers – £50m, £60m, even £80m – for Ronaldo once seemed generous but now, post-Kaka, look a bit paltry. Indeed, what’s to prevent City outbidding Real? Whoever wins the election to replace interim Real president Vicente Boluda might want to reconsider this strategy anyway.

The history of such deals – where one club bets the farm for a galactically talented player – suggests they fail as often as they succeed. Zinedine Zidane’s £46m move to Real was a treat for fans and gave us one of the greatest goals to grace a UEFA Champions League final. But Zizou arrived in 2001, conquered Europe in 2002, and by the end of 2003 Real had begun to implode.

Zizou wallops home in 2002 final at Hampden Park

For every masterly record signing – Cruyff to Barcelona, Maradona to Napoli, Gullit to Milan – there are loads of deals which went awry.

The Kaka/City circus must have fascinated a 39-year-old recently retired attacking midfielder called Gianluigi Lentini. His world record £13m move to Milan in 1992 was dubbed “an offence to the dignity of work” by the Vatican and after a bad car crash in 1993 he never recovered his old form.Perhaps Kaka wasn’t swayed by his Christian beliefs at all. Maybe he just glanced at the history books and decided that risking he might become the new Denilson wasn't worth it – not even for a sheikh’s ransom.Much has been made of Robinho’s exit from Manchester City’s Tenerife training camp. I wouldn’t worry too much. I suspect the imminence of Craig Bellamy has prompted the hyperactive young genius to return to Brazil to buy some industrial strength golf clubs. Same as he ever was?

“He has seen a lot of football and I’m sure he has a plan.” That was how Fulham defender – and Norwegian skipper – Brede Hangeland greeted the return of Egil ‘Drillo’ Olsen as caretaker national coach.Critics – many of whom coach top flight clubs in Norway – worry that Olsen’s plan is, as Talking Heads might say, the “same as it ever was”: zonal defence and long diagonal passes for a striker to nod into the box.

But Drillo’s return has done something useful: excited interest in the national team which, under Age Hareide, had begun to slip off the media’s radar. The April 1 friendly against Finland may sell out.

Olsen: "Hello boys... I'm back"

Olsen’s wellies, Marxism and the ability to identify the height of every mountain on earth should make for entertaining press conferences.

Jim White sees Olsen’s return as proof of football’s unerring ability to reward failure. But Drillo did manage the most successful Norway team ever – the national side won 30% of their games before he took over and 70% while he was in charge – and he is still only 66. LarsArhus’s stats show why so many Norwegians still hope he may get the job permanently. And finally…

PR email subject of the week: “Aston Villa FC hero flies Air Malta.” I kid you not.

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