It's been a crazy season in the Premier League, and Back of the Net's John Foster is here to serve up another piping hot slice of football knowledge pie...
Rumours are spreading of a mysterious masked footballer who has been appearing at Premier League grounds up and down the country, terrorising unsuspecting full-backs with his dazzling wing play, before vanishing into thin air.
According to several reports, the masked winger typically appears from nowhere to boost one teamâÂÂs attacking options, ravaging the oppositionâÂÂs defences for a ten or fifteen-minute spell, before disappearng as quickly as he came.
At Craven Cottage last Sunday, the mystery man abseiled down from the stadium roof to get goalside of the Wolverhampton Wanderers defence, before delivering a defence-splitting pass to Clint Dempsey, who scored to put Fulham 3-0 up.
Moments later, the velvet-swathed ace skipped past three Wolves challenges, and a desperate attempt by Richard Stearman to remove his mask, before unleashing a rising shot into the top corner.
His work complete, the man some call âÂÂThe Deadly Shadowâ mounted the black charger he had earlier tethered to Mark SchwarzerâÂÂs goalposts and rode back into the night, leaving the amazed crowd asking, âÂÂwho was that masked man?âÂÂ
âÂÂIâÂÂd never seen anything like it,â said Sunderland full-back Phil Bardsley, who was tormented mercilessly by the black-clad figure, then aiding West Brom, during his sideâÂÂs 4-0 defeat two weeks ago.
âÂÂWe were doing OK, when suddenly [the mystery winger] sprang out from behind a corner flag and collected a through-ball to score,â he told FourFourTwo.com.
âÂÂHeâÂÂd run at us every time he got the ball. He probably got to the byline 20, 30 times. Kieran RichardsonâÂÂs refused to play at left-back since, just in case he pops up again.âÂÂ
A league spokesman confirmed that it was against FA rules for the masked winger to swoop suddenly onto the field of play without the refereeâÂÂs permission, to insist on playing in a midnight-black kit, and to carry a long, thin rapier, which he used to face down Paddy Kenny when scoring his second in BlackburnâÂÂs surprise 3-2 win over QPR last month.
But, the spokesman added; âÂÂIt seems this mysterious fellow laughs in the face of the rules, and has no regard for status or convention."
Many observers are asking whether the appearance of the mystery winger is connected to other recent events.
In January, the houses of several ex-referees were broken into, with a single black marble chess piece left behind on each occasion, a crime that has left police baffled.
Then, last weekend, a question mark was discovered carved into the front door of FA headquarters in Soho Square, on the same day that high-society paramour Nancy DellâÂÂolio was spotted clasping a black silk handkerchief, identical to the one the masked winger uses to mop his brow during matches
Fearing that his full-backs may be next in line to face the mystery wingerâÂÂs torments, Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish is reportedly preparing for his teamâÂÂs next game by picking only midfielders.
Previous stories:
Steve Bruce unable to explain football to a six-year-old
Wolves appoint man who claims he was McCarthy's assistantVisiting Joe Cole wows Liverpool squad with French toastKenwyne Jones bunks off Stoke training to play football
De Gea: If I stare at the floodlights I see angels
Ball still bobbling around in Villa box, three days later
Wigan given permission to talk to Maynard, but not about football
Banana touted as potential banana skin for Hull
Nobody able to explain why Tony Hibbert is in Gabon
Spurs target found to be carefully-arranged pile of shoeboxes
O'Neill creates "stunning" rogan josh from contents of Bruce's pantry
Back ot the Net writer Paul Watson's book Up Pohnpei: A Quest to Reclaim the Soul of Football by Leading the World's Ultimate Underdogs to Glory is available now
