Premier sketch: Rooney's shinner & Van Persie's chocolate leg

According to Sir Alex Ferguson, Old Trafford witnessed ”the greatest goal ever scored at the stadium” during Saturday's Manchester derby.

Taken with a strikers’ instinct, back to goal, tightly marked, clinically striking it first time - yes, David Silva’s equaliser for Manchester City off his backside was truly breathtaking.

United's goals weren't bad either, but thankfully - unlike Rooney - the media are keeping their feet firmly on the ground in calling the England striker's spectacular winner the best ever ever ever ever ever goal in the history of the world with no arguments what so ever.

OK, so it was a fantastic goal and showed incredible athleticism for a man who looks like he enjoys his fish, chips, and odd packets of expensive cigarettes. Even Wayne himself admitted that it could well be his best goal of his career.

"I knew as soon as it his my foot that it was going in”, the lovable striker explained. Strange really, because but if you take a closer look at the goal in slow motion (switch on the television right now and you can be sure some channel will be showing it) you’ll see that the ball actually took quite a generous bounce off Rooney’ s right shin pad on it’s way past Joe Hart and into the net.

So with City falling further behind, it looks like Arsenal could be United’s sole challengers; the Gunners made easy work of Wolves with a 2-0 win which sent the Wanderers back to the bottom of the table.

Robin van Persie bagged himself another couple of goals, even scoring with what he recently described as his “chocolate leg.”

The Dutchman sweetly struck the ball and it flew into the net, it certainly wasn’t a Curly Wurly. Unfortunately Van Persie had to take an early Time Out as his ankle felt a little Crunchie, however the win has surely given his side a Boost going into their unenviable task of facing Barcelona midweek; OK, it’s definitely time to change Topic...

Moving on to the wrong end of the table where West Brom and West Ham fought out a 3-3 draw. The Baggies came out blazing and took a 3-0 lead; obviously they were trying to impress their newly appointed boss Roy Hodgson. Graham Dorrans scored the pick of the bunch with this 30-yard screamer.

Hodgson faces an interesting couple of months at the Hawthorns. After spending the first half of the season underachieving at Liverpool, he has now been given the task of keeping Albion in the division. Why Chris Hughton was overlooked is anyone’s guess...

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