Robinho revelation upsets Madrid minions

According to AS’s page 16 stunner Carmen Colino, Robinho is bang out of order.

From the safety of the Brazil camp, the condom-loving forward has admitted that he has offers from Manchester United and Chelsea. More to the point, he's admitted that he "wouldn't have a problem leaving" Madrid for England - and Carmen is not impressed.

"I don't like these little messages that Robinho is sending out from Brazil one bit," Carmen cried, getting her knickers in a real Chubby Checker of a twist at the sight of the player using the press to his advantage.

"Where’s the humble, happy and approachable player who first arrived at Real Madrid? He's showing a real lack of class," she continued as her moral high horse reared up neighing, almost throwing her to the ground with a loud crash.

"If he wants to go he should fly back to Madrid, have a meeting with [sporting director] Pedja Mijatovic and tell him face to face. If he wants to be on the market then fine, but this isn't the way. He shouldn't be trying to put pressure on Madrid to force a departure."

"Who does he think he is to pressure the club like this?"

Robinho's comments got Colino's knickers in a right twist

It’s a good question. Who does he think he is?

Perhaps he thinks he's the step-over king, a skilful showman, the man singled out as the best player in the world. Perhaps, Carmen, he thinks he's just the same as Cristiano Ronaldo.

You know, Cristiano Ronaldo. He's the player you and your paper are pleading with to rebel against Sir Alex Ferguson and Carlos Queiroz - "the worst coach in Madrid’s history" - ignore appeals to sit down and talk to his club and declare that he would love to leave; to pile the pressure on Manchester United, flick the Vs, walk out and sign for Madrid. Without talking to Ferguson.

And then, of course, to thank you for your role in making it all happen.

Mrs Pot, meet Mr Kettle.