Sevilla hammer the ‘Hoff but Barça bottle it

Due to the increasingly intriguing nature of the Joseph Fiennes-fuelled ‘FlashForward’ the simple-minded La Liga Loca completely forgot about the Champions League highlights show on Spanish TV on Tuesday night.

So, it was not until the next day that it discovered that the unbeatable “most Catalan and universal side ever” Barcelona had lost to their Ruskie rivals in the Camp Nou.

However, the blog’s desire to see the whining “but, I had no vision!” FBI-man on the aforementioned show meet his impending, violent death sooner rather than later grew even stronger.

But La Liga Loca did not completely fail in its footie-following duties and caught Sevilla’s 3-1 win away at Stuttgart while pottering about the penthouse and watched the ever-wonderful sight of Jens Lehmann scowling and muttering obscenities under his Teutonic breath.

What’s more, the German goalie also seems to have taken several more steps in his ongoing transmorphication into the ‘Hoff.

Jens is surely just weeks away from drunkenly eating hamburgers off his kitchen floor.

The Squillaci-inspired victory should see Sevilla through to the next Champions League round with a few matches in hand.

NEWS: Sevilla maintain perfect start in Stuttgart

However, the same cannot be said about Barcelona after their Camp Nou calamity.

Nevertheless, the local press seem to be keeping their cool with Sport’s headline announcing that the defeat is “only a stumble.”

Inside, Josep Maria Casanovas is still a tad concerned though, and complains that “this isn’t the Barça that looked like an unstoppable machine.”

Mundo Deportivo are happier blaming what is annoyingly called “the FIFA Virus” in Spain, but is known as “international matches” everywhere else.

“It infects them,” complains Santi Nolla. “It makes them lose balance and control.”

The columnist falls short of calling on the world’s governing body to allow the Catalan club an extra week to recover from this terrible affliction. But only just.

NEWS: Barca beaten at home by Kazan NEWS: Xavi rues rotten luck against Rubin

Marca and AS are getting all the milage they can before Madrid’s 3-1 defeat at the Bernabeu on Wednesday night, with the latter sniggering that Pep’s Dream Boys “don’t look like Champions” and noting that the Russian reverse was their 100th loss in European competition.

But the pair’s main focus is the visit of AC Milan to Madrid and the battle between a club president who is a diminutive, power-hungry, media-manipulating loon with a need to be loved... and Silvio Berlusconi.

NEWS: Leonardo - Milan ready for Real

AS managed to get themselves into a squabble with a nit-picking Pippo Inzaghi by congratulating him on his 61 European goals, before being informed that the total was 68, if his Intertoto efforts were considered

“Uefa counts every goal,” tutted the San Siro striker.

Although the Bernabeu clash is set to be the most glamorous of the evening - and a chance for Kaká to be left alone by journalists for a good 90-minutes - the real Champions League fun will be taking place at Stamford Bridge.

An awful Atlético Madrid are in London to take on Chelsea in a tie that, on paper, can only go one way.

NEWS: Chelsea prepare by practicing set-pieces

In Spain, Primera pundits are pondering what will happen to a rojiblanco defence that struggled with one-trick pony Walter Pandiani and the rubbish Carlos Aranda on Sunday night against Osasuna when it comes up against some proper players.

But football being a topsy-turvy world and with some surprising results having already been witnessed this week, La Liga Loca has had its own flashforward - inspired by an overload of Red Leicester, perhaps - and is tipping a defeat for Real, but victory for Atleti on what could be a wacky Wednesday night.

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