Uruguay 2-1 England: Suarez answers critics with goals, answers
Luis Suarez almost single-handedly won Uruguay their crunch clash against England last night, and after the game he hit out at everyone who had criticised, doubted and supported him.
The Liverpool man vanquished the Three Lions with two goals and nearly sneaked the ball in twice from corners, taking advantage of Joe Hart anxiously flicking flecks of dandruff off his shoulders.
Wayne Rooney found the net, having been relieved of his official role as England scapegoat, but his goal proved a consolation.
It was a massive vindication for Suarez who has regularly been vilified in the British press for his ungracious approach to the game and his tendency to feel he has been vilified in the British press for his ungracious approach.
“I feel like I’ve really silenced the critics,” Suarez beamed to FourFourTwo.
“The press are always criticising me, but I don’t care about the press, I just care about what happens on the pitch. That and shutting up the press.
“It’s so nice to let my performance speak for me and not have to hit out at the press. God, how I hate the press,” Suarez hit out at the press.
Suarez went on to stress his contempt for every single person in England before stating his undying love for Liverpool, whose fans he hates.
“I feel like Liverpool is a second home for me,” he said. “People there really gave me a second chance, even when I dishonoured the club repeatedly.
“So it means so much to me to have secured this devastating triumph over them. It’s a real feeling of vindication to rub this in the faces of all those people who have continually defended and cheered me.”
To escape Group D, England need to beat Costa Rica by a couple of goals with Italy winning both their remaining games, but there are still multiple other routes through.
Even if England are held by Costa Rica, England would still progress should Italy dissolve into a collection of independent states, Uruguay’s squad secure tickets to a West End musical or Costa Rica revert back to being a brand of coffee.