If Sid Lowe can do it, why canÃ¢ÂÂt I? The esteemed interpreter of Spanish football gives out the Sids at the end of every season, so IÃ¢ÂÂm going to dish out the Simmos as I review a year in which football spectacularly lost the plot.
Most of us would have been content with an iPad for Christmas, but not Massimo Moratti. The Inter president would only be really happy with a new coach - and one who would cause Silvio Berlusconi the greatest amount of discomfort to boot.
The transfer window is upon us but not even the best wheeler-dealer could get you the world's 100 best players for under a fiver. No, for that sort of bargain, you'll have to get the new issue of FourFourTwo... Subscribe now!