Ã¢ÂÂEspanyol is like my wifeÃ¢ÂÂ - Always promising to go down, but never going through with it, perhaps. Espanyol manager Pochettino, musing over comparisons between his club and his misses. Ã¢ÂÂI raised my hands to surrender but Carleto still shot me twiceÃ¢ÂÂ - ValenciaÃ¢ÂÂs RubÃÂ©n Baraja speaking after a summertime paintballing session. That famous Mestalla team spirit is still alive and kicking, it seems. Ã¢ÂÂI will take the team to the Europa League, the Champions League and we will go once again to Madrid... thatÃ¢ÂÂs what Manuel RuÃÂz de Lopera will work forÃ¢ÂÂ - at least one of the Betis overlordÃ¢ÂÂs potty pledges have come through. Second division Rayo Vallecano play in the capital city. Ã¢ÂÂWe decided that the best thing for everyone would be to sell me... but my wish was to stay in MÃÂlanÃ¢ÂÂ - KakÃÂ¡ shortly before being booted under the table by Florentino PÃÂ©rez and handed the Ã¢ÂÂmy childhood dream was always to play for Real Madrid script.Ã¢ÂÂÃ¢ÂÂGod put this money in the hands of Real Madrid so they could sign KakÃÂ¡Ã¢ÂÂ - A deserving middle-finger to all those BarÃÂ§a fans whining about Spanish banks lending a quarter of billion euros to Real Madrid in the middle of a recession. Mrs KakÃÂ¡, Caroline Celico, says it is all part of His plan to reward her for keeping her cherry intact before marrying her hubby. Ã¢ÂÂThe most scandalous signing in the history of footballÃ¢ÂÂ - Professional bedwetter, Barcelona cheerleader and U-turner, Josep MarÃÂa Casanovas from Ã¢ÂÂSportÃ¢ÂÂ on Cristiano RonaldoÃ¢ÂÂs decision to sign for Real Madrid. And more importantly, not Barcelona. Ã¢ÂÂThe signing of the century!Ã¢ÂÂ - a slightly different perspective from Marca with their happy headline on the same affair. Ã¢ÂÂCristiano Ronaldo is not only number one with the ball but also for keeping his wordÃ¢ÂÂ - MarcaÃ¢ÂÂs thankfully sidelined writer Roberto GÃÂ³mez ignorning the whole Ã¢ÂÂplaying for Manchester United is a dreamÃ¢ÂÂ business from Real MadridÃ¢ÂÂs new kitten-rescuing, gentleman superstar. Ã¢ÂÂItÃ¢ÂÂs unthinkable that one of my directors would say thisÃ¢ÂÂ - Basque brotherhood in glorious action as Osasuna presient Patxi Izco feigns outrage over Athletic Bilbao VP Joseba Inchaurrage, noting that OsasunaÃ¢ÂÂs relegation would have helped his club out no end on the transfer front in the close season. Ã¢ÂÂIÃ¢ÂÂve tried to ring him a couple of times but heÃ¢ÂÂs not taking my callsÃ¢ÂÂ - Joan Laporta on Catalan television during the Samuel EtoÃ¢ÂÂo transfer saga. And either demonstrating refreshing honesty or that heÃ¢ÂÂs a total half-wit who has no control over his players. Ã¢ÂÂIÃ¢ÂÂve got to get back to Spain tomorrow for trainingÃ¢ÂÂ - AtlÃÂ©tico full-back Mariano PernÃÂaÃ¢ÂÂs first words after coming out of a 72-hour coma caused by a car accident. Even with a broken collar bone, concussion and smashed ribs, he would still be better than Pablo. Ã¢ÂÂWe were pre-destined to find each otherÃ¢ÂÂ - Burger King Spanish suit, Elias Diaz SesÃÂ©, getting just a little too excited over his companyÃ¢ÂÂs new sponsorship deal with Getafe. Ã¢ÂÂWhy not play RaÃÂºl at left-back?Ã¢ÂÂ - A ludicrous letter appearing in Marca over the summer written by one of the paperÃ¢ÂÂs readers. Or possibly by RaÃÂºl.Ã¢ÂÂWe will never spend 60 million euros on one playerÃ¢ÂÂ - Barcelona director, Xavier Sala-i-Martin speaking far, far, far, far, far too soon. Ã¢ÂÂMy aim is to score between 30 and 40 goalsÃ¢ÂÂ - Plucky Real Valladolid recruit Manucho on his striking target for the new season. A fine aim if it werenÃ¢ÂÂt for the fact that by all accounts he is a bit rubbish. Ã¢ÂÂItÃ¢ÂÂs an invention by a club who went down this year and who want to screw us overÃ¢ÂÂ - JoaquÃÂn Morales, the main shareholder for new boys Xerez, on a legal complaint from SD Compostela that there was financial dodginess at the club back in 2002. Ã¢ÂÂI was told that I should leave Valencia for the good of the club. But then, soon after, everything changedÃ¢ÂÂ - David Villa reveals the shock news of confusion and chaos in Mestalla. Ã¢ÂÂDonÃ¢ÂÂt knowÃ¢ÂÂ - A simple answer from Pep Guardiola during the clubÃ¢ÂÂs US tour on how he can improve the side this year. Ã¢ÂÂWe are alone in the universeÃ¢ÂÂ - Yes. Yes, you are. AtlÃÂ©tico president Enrique Cerezo on his clubÃ¢ÂÂs unique status.