Nike Magista from £230
Fashioned with technology from Nike’s run range to give you Iniesta-like touch rather than Farah-type speed. Flyknit technology acts like a second skin, making it more comfortable than Samuel Eto’o’s bank account.
Adidas Predator Instinct £190
To celebrate the Predator’s 20th anniversary, Adidas has released the Instinct, a shoe “that celebrates the animalistic instincts of the players that wear it”. Let’s hear you roar.
Puma evoPower 1 FG £140
Puma conclude that God knows best, so have forged a shoe that mimics the barefoot kicking motion. A flexible upper ensures your foot can deliver that 30-yard screamer at max velocity.
Umbro UX-1 Concept FG £150
Prince isn’t the only man who can make purple look good. You can too. The Umbro UX-1’s one-piece upper smooths-out control when receiving and ensures consistent projection when passing.
Warrior Gambler 2 £120
This boot might not appeal to United fans – it’s worn by Marouane Fellaini – but its seamless design and new ‘Stacks’ forefoot control panels should improve the skills of the most hungover pub player.
More after the break
Under Armour Clutchfit Force Hybrid SG £135
Wrought with material that works with the contours of your foot. Its textured 3D printed layer is designed to grip the ball better for improved touch.
Nike Ordem £105
Like the dimples on a golf ball, Nike’s new Aerow Trac grooves are engineered to grip and channel the air for a smoother, more consistent flight.
Adidas Finale Lisbon Official Match Ball £47
This ball features a seamless surface for more accurate passing. Its design ensures less water uptake, too, so it should survive a British winter.
Umbro Neo 150 Elite £60
Classic looking orb with a ‘tri-pli lining system’ that works with a synthetic called Teijin for softer, more controlled touch.
Mitre Delta V12 £90
Its 12-panel composition will send the V12 spinning smoothly, while the textured surface claims to hold a more consistent flight path at more than 70mph.
Adidas F50 Pro Lite Shin Guards £17
A compression sleeve supports blood flow back to the body. Slip-in front plates will provide a stout defence against the most hack-happy park league chopper.
Adidas Predator Pro Lite Shin Guards £17
This armour has a robust defence shield that slips into a compression sleeve with a soft synthetic lining for comfort – which is nice when you’re being booted.
Umbro Neo Pro TPU Guard £25
Made with anatomical rubber, these shin protectors are light and absorb high-impact forces. The ‘comfort backer’ means better airflow and should reduce lower-limb pongs.
Mitre Aircell Pro £15
Core to this affordable set of shinguards is the breathable ‘Aircell’ technology that should keep you cooler than Mario Gotze’s magnificent quiff. Dual-density foam will absorb the meatiest of tackles.
Adidas Predator Zones Fingersave Allround Gloves £90
Like a car’s airbag, ‘spines’ within the fingers stiffen on impact, sending the oncoming rocket safe from harm and protecting your digits.
Sells Total Contact Elite Competition £90
With Sells’ trademark ‘Adhesion Ultra Absolute Latex’ grip, your team’s chances should be in safe hands for the new season.
Umbro Neo Pro Elite Shotgun £70
Rain-sodden British winters won’t cause problems for the Shotgun, which features ‘Hyper Extreme-Latex Foam’ for leech-like grip in all weathers.
Mitre BRZ Pro £45
A mesh body prevents clamminess while an inner-palm latex grip ensures greater feel. There’s even a ‘Punch Zone’ on the back of the hand to defend corners with gusto.
ESSENTIAL GYM KIT
Adidas Full-Body Weighted Vest £129.99
Looking to improve explosive power? Sprint intervals dressed with 10.7kg of extra weight will certainly do the trick. Weights can be removed to vary load.
Adidas Medicine Ball £24.99
Core strength will improve your agility and ability to deviate from simple, straight-line efforts. Made from durable rubber, so shouldn’t break your metatarsal if dropped.
Adidas Adjustable Ankle Weights £19.99
Removable weight packs enable you to adjust the intensity of your workout, catering for limbs that resemble a withered branch or a mighty treetrunk.
Adidas Power Tube £19.99
A souped-up version of resistance bands, featuring handy grippers and an outer sleeve that protects the rubber tubes. Will bulletproof your body ahead of the new 2014-15 season.