“Aggggguuueerrrrooooo!!!” Cue pandemonium. Bodies topple over one another in the stands. Manchester City’s staff storm the pitch like a swarm of angry bees. Joe Hart is so excited, his head is ready to pop off like the cork on a champagne bottle.
While this is happening, the hero of the hour is swinging his shirt above his head, celebrating a title-winning goal.
More after the break
Sergio Aguero’s physique is on show. It’s impressive, but unspectacular – he is a professional athlete, after all.
What’s impressive is out of shot: his legs and backside. They’re short-splittingly big. Does this thick-set lower half slow him down? Not on your nelly.
Ask his team-mates – they struggled to catch the Argentine after his last-gasp winner against QPR in May 2012.
But Aguero isn’t the sort of striker to run around the pitch like an over-excited toddler chasing a flock of pigeons.
The penalty area is where he bursts into life. “Finding space in the box is crucial,” he tells FFT. “I want to be in the best place to make life hard for a defender. You’ve got to be attentive. I try to run as quickly as possible to be first to the ball.”
And once you’re there, his advice is simple: “Shoot hard and true.” He should know – he has the best goals-per-minute ratio in Premier League history.
If you’re looking to build explosive power for devastating bursts past defenders, leading to net-rippling shots, we have the training plan for you.
Just follow the programme and listen to Kun: “You have to put in the work on the training ground.” Get to it.