Showcasing your silky skills on a Sunday morning is suicide - you may as well stick a 'Kick Me' sign on your back and book yourself into A&E.
After the granite faced centre back has done his best to injury you with shin-pad-splitting fouls you’re either going to seek retribution or signal to the bench it’s time to come off.
More after the break
But it doesn’t have to be like this – with the right attitude you can remain cool in the face of remorseless impudence, says Arsenal and England forward, Theo Walcott.
Since bursting onto the scene as a promising 16-year-old in 2005, Walcott has been showing defenders a clean pair of heels with his turbocharged speed.
This attracts more enemies than admirers when you’re on the pitch so the England international has had to find ways to deal with the unwanted attention.
In this video he reveals his strategy for staying focused when flying studs are coming his way.
After watching this we also recommend you invest in the right pair of shinpads…
For more football tips see:
Wayne Routledge: How to beat a hatchet man
Dealing with the red mist
How to deal with a mouthy player
How to deal with a wind-up merchant
Mikel Arteta: Handling a hatchet man