Accelerate like Aguero

“Aggggguuueerrrrooooo!!!” Cue pandemonium. Bodies topple over one another in the stands. Manchester City’s staff storm the pitch like a swarm of angry bees. Joe Hart is so excited, his head is ready to pop off like the cork on a champagne bottle.

While this is happening, the hero of the hour is swinging his shirt above his head, celebrating a title-winning goal.

Sergio Aguero’s physique is on show. It’s impressive, but unspectacular – he is a professional athlete, after all.

What’s impressive is out of shot: his legs and backside. They’re short-splittingly big. Does this thick-set lower half slow him down? Not on your nelly.

Ask his team-mates – they struggled to catch the Argentine after his last-gasp winner against QPR in May 2012.

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