Ranked! Every Premier League manager by how long they'd survive in Game of Thrones
14. Maurizio Sarri (Chelsea)
Has ardent followers who’ll tell you The High Sarri isn’t playing the Game of Thrones by any rules mere mortals understand. He’s playing his own, unique version which requires intense training in the citadel and is best viewed through a fug of dense smoke.
Despite this, The High Sarri is up against it. If his Roman Emperor isn’t summoning him to tip molten gold over his head (almost certainly how oligarchs dream of offing their foes), there’s the danger of 11 mysterious, blue-tipped arrows in his back. Dicey.
13. Ralph Hasenhuttl (Southampton)
Here he is: eager newcomer Ralph Rabbit Hutch, coming down from the mountains with a spring in his step ready to shake up the big boys. What they didn’t tell you, Hutch, is those Saints you’re aligned with aren’t always as forgiving as they seem.
Last we saw, flint-eyed Ser Sparky was offering him a muttered word of advice and a firm handshake – if he survives that encounter, he’s a better man than most.
12. Mauricio Pochettino (Tottenham)
Enters a few seasons in, like some swarthy Dornish prince with his good looks, exotic accent and sparkly new palace. Tripping up larger rivals with his unusual weapon (the cane), he’s an instant fan favourite.
He really is going to climb the mountain and finally deliver success for his people. Hurrah! Postscript: gets head popped like a rotten melon just as victory looks within grasp.
11. Neil Warnock (Cardiff)
Being the only Prem manager to boast a squad of dragons gives Warnock a major advantage in Westeros (even if his look is more Doubtfire than Daenerys). He’s also the kind of grizzly old stager who keeps coming back for more.
But let’s be realistic: can anyone who’s made as many enemies as Ser Warn really expect to survive that long? Bitten by a sewer rat and attacked by a mysterious guild of middle-aged men dressed in black. Fate unknown.
10. Ole Gunnar Solskjaer (Man United)
‘The Baby-Faced Assassin’ sounds like a character in GoT already. Brought in to restore the fortunes of a glorious but troubled house, Lord Solskjaer wins people over with his talk of doing things “the Lannister United way” and constant references to his siege of Catalonia 20 years ago.
Unfortunately, he isn’t necessarily the first choice (nothing new there). Let’s face it: this could still go either way.
9. Chris Hughton (Brighton)
Right, we know this is Game of Thrones, but some good guys have to survive, right? Ser Hughton is clearly one of those. Even his previous houses recall him fondly and he’s flying high in the Eyrie with his beloved gulls. Hughton all the way!
Hang on; what’s that suspiciously Hughton-shaped object plummeting from the Moon Door?
8. Jurgen Klopp (Liverpool)
Definitely someone who shows up when the GoT producers realise they’ve killed off too many popular characters and need a new hero. A big, mad, Dothraki with fireworks in his beard and a scimitar in each hand.
Claims he’s ready to go on the attack despite not actually wearing any armour. “My manservant Virgil has got my back,” he says, laughing maniacally and pumping his fist. Godspeed, Jurg, try not to lose your head.