Lists

Ranked! The 20 worst Premier League shirts EVER

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13. Manchester City, 1994/95 (away)

Umbro produced some great tops for City around this era, and this red-and-white striped attempt could have joined the pantheon of acceptability (although many supporters understandably objected to the former colour).

So why did the design team add the weird grey armpit-to-shoulder flanks in? It gave the look of a garment that had been patched together by Peter Beagrie’s mum after suffering heavy wear and tear. No wonder they finished 17th.

12. Arsenal, 1991-93 (away)

A brown acid bad trip, psychedelic meltdown and sweaty swine flu nightmare of a design: perfect for a Grateful Dead poster, but not suitable in any form to clad Steve Bould. Side effects of wearing the ‘Bruised Banana’ included delirium, epileptic episodes and losing 2-1 at Highfield Road.

11. Manchester United, 1992/93 (away)

A kit that even smouldering dreamboat Eric Cantona looked a dick in, the whacking great club crest and peculiar black stripes was further proof that just because you can suddenly design such things doesn’t mean you should.

YEAR ZERO The making of Eric Cantona (Leeds/Manchester United, 1992/93)

10. Coventry, 1992-94 (home)

What is it about the early 1990s and smudgy shirts? Every kit designer with a fancy new Apple Macintosh suddenly started to go wild for splodges and flecks, resulting in this monstrosity which art critic Brian Sewell would probably have called the work of an ignorant, inarticulate, talentless, loutish, self-regarding exhibitionist, had he not been too busy slagging off Tracy Emin.

9. Middlesbrough, 1996/97 (away)

Nineties Boro were a lot of fun for several reasons: the Riverside, Fabrizio Ravanelli, Juninho, promotion, relegation, re-promotion and cup finals. They also sported some very fine red shirts during the period – but this errea effort was a mis-step, from the walloping BORO scrawled over the arm to the curious cross made out of your nan’s decaying curtains.

ACTION REPLAY When Boro got bonkers: rucks, relegation, two cup finals… and training at a prison

8. Blackburn, 1996/97 (away)

Oh Lordy. While Blackburn’s home kits have almost always been models of tasteful understatement, this away effort was genuinely upsetting. Its sprinkled black club crest collage, down one side and along a sleeve, made Colin Hendry and friends look like they’d succumbed to some sort of jaundicing tropical disease.

7. Aston Villa, 1993-95 (away)

There's always a lack of dignity in a shirt sponsored by a yoghurt manufacturer: the bacterial fermentation of milk may be delicious, but it lacks the steely gravitas most teams hope that their hallowed shirt might exude. Green, black and red stripes add an extra layer of non-delicious fruit corner frivolity.