Ranked! The 20 worst Premier League shirts EVER
6. Norwich, 1992-94 (home)
Unfortunately nicknamed the ‘bird poo kit’, the design resembled a canvass that even squirt maniac Jackson Pollock might have binned for being too splattery. A shame, then, that this revulsion was worn during perhaps Norwich’s finest ever period on the pitch, as they finished third and then took apart Bayern Munich in Europe.
Perhaps there’s some kind of correlation, and they should bring a similar horror show back? To the abattoir!
5. Liverpool, 2013/14 (away)
Brendan Rodgers’ men had a smashing season in 2013/14 – which was lucky, because they looked a right bunch of plums on their travels. The top half of this one was reasonable, with standard enough red-on-white lines, but what was going on in the bottom half? Was it a malfunctioning television? A virus attacking Ceefax? The smouldering wreckage of a Sinclair C5? Moronic and confusing.
4. Liverpool, 2013/14 (third)
Astonishingly, Liverpool’s white away kit from this term – quite comfortably one of the worst shirts of the Premier League era – wasn’t even the worst away shirt the club had that term.
A root-and-branch internal investigation leading to several sackings must surely have been undertaken at Warrior after this utterly deranged design was allowed to become reality, leaving Luis Suarez resembling a capering medieval jester. Huge shame on everyone involved.
3. Manchester United, 1995/96 (away)
Benchmark wrongness: as the Premier League’s relentless monetisation of everything kicked in, shirt sales suddenly became a vital worldwide revenue stream, and this grey-on-grey number was specifically designed to go nicely with jeans.
The problem? The players claimed they couldn’t see each other during a fixture at The Dell, were 3-0 down at half-time, performed a Mariah Carey-style outfit change, and it was never seen again.
2. Nottingham Forest, 1995-97 (away)
A toddler’s crayon rampage, a dropped pie, an old man’s knee, a malfunctioning bile duct, a crashed magician’s van leading to several fatalities – all spring to mind while gazing upon this vileness, a stoned sixth form design project that should have been strangled at birth. Extraordinary.
1. Chelsea, 1994-96 (away)
Even Ruud Gullit couldn’t pull off the slapdash mishmash of greys, blues and oranges. Abetted by the logo of unpalatable American ‘beer’ makers Coors, the overall result was the Mona Lisa of ropey football kits.
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