Football's maddest ads: Futre's manhood, CR7's dandruff and Maradona as a chair
1) Back of the Futre
Sorry to start here, and we'd understand if you didn't want to read on, but.. well, just watch the thing. If former West Ham winger Paulo Futre juggling a ball with his manhood isn't already scary enough, it's accompanied by genuinely terrifying music and a stare from the protagonist that almost definitely warrants him a place on a register.
Randomness rating: 10 ladies dancing.