1 August 2009
"I'm told Messi is good. I wouldn't know – I only watch Premier League and Championship football"
1 May 2009
"He was a brilliant little player but a dirty little bastard. He kicked me in the leg I’d just come back from breaking twice..."
28 April 2009
"You can find a beautiful woman anywhere, but the average girl on the street is better in Montevideo..."
1 October 2008
"I worked in a sausage factory, so if I was playing badly I was having a ‘Banger’ or if I was playing well, I was ‘Sizzling’..."
1 August 2008
"I don’t mean this in a big-headed way, because I wasn’t a great goalscorer, but I scored great goals"
9 April 2008
"Michael Chopra was the biggest joker at Cardiff...always messing about with people’s kits and hiding their boots."
Ossie Ardiles, ILIE DUMITRESCU
1 April 2008
"I’ve never had the tune from Ossie’s Dream as the ringtone on my phone."
6 March 2008
"I scored 11 goals during a school game once, but I was still subbed with 20 minutes to go..."
6 March 2008
"I’d travel up in the helicopter on the Monday, stay all week and fly back on the weekend..."
1 February 2008
"I dreamed about being a dwarf"

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