12) When you tell people that Quincy Owusu-Abeyie was the original stepover king. Cristiano who?
13) When you see Highbury now and you don't see flats – you still see the green of the pitch from the first time you ever walked up the stairs.
14)Jurassic Park feels like a slanderous representation of dinosaurs – they're green and cuddly (and great for solemn photos like this one).
15) When you've had fewer hot dinners than Abou Diaby has had injuries.
16) You know every two-bit central defender who played in any European league between 2006 and 2012.
17) The words 'Like a new signing' give you flashbacks – especially when you'd really like a new signing.
18) When you hear them talk about deadline day on Sky Sports and you think "Damn, that Minnesota dentist has done it again".
19) Every time you watch the video of the Michael Thomas goal at Anfield there's a part of you that's afraid he's held onto the ball too long.
20) No matter how long it's been since you won the league, you can still stay 'Yeah, but you never won it without losing a game, did you?', before, as the kids might say, dropping the mic.
21) Whatever resentment you might have for the modern Chelsea, if you're of a certain age you still bear a grudge for the game in '90/91 when defeat at Stamford Bridge meant those title winners didn't become Invincible.
22) No matter how hard you try, you simply can't make any sense of Park Chu-young, while the irony of Andre Santos being caught speeding wasn't lost on you.
23) You prefer JVC to Sharp, Sega to Nintendo, and O2 to Vodafone. When it comes to using a Middle-Eastern airline as a hub to reach the far corners of the globe, you're not that bothered.
