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"Make it faster Wazza!"

Defenders are getting better and the goalscoring fraternity is sick of it – so they’ve taken action.

The strikers’ union’s top minds – Wayne Rooney, Neymar and Zlatan Ibrahimovic – strapped on their goggles, fired up their Bunsen burners and took to the workshop to create the ultimate finisher’s footwear, the Nike Hypervenom.

OK, so they didn’t do it all by themselves: Nike’s boot bods lent a hand. Denis Dekovic, design director, explains.

“These players want to leverage the natural agility they already have to find space in a congested penalty area,” he says.

“They want to create chances from nothing. These faster, more agile defenders need to be combated and the Hypervenom is designed to do exactly that.” 

How, you may ask? Well, the delicate but deadly feet of Wazza will feel more at one with the ball thanks to Nikeskin – a material that gives the feeling of playing barefoot.

The stripped down soleplate and stud configuration allows for faster “penetration to the surface”, so boot wearers will be quicker off the mark.

And the notoriously vulnerable metatarsal will now be put to good use with its accelerating powers activated by a groove in the boot’s forefoot.

All of which means more goals for design trio Rooney, Ibra and Neymar. And possibly you.