If one good thing emerges from the inaugural World Cup final half time show, I hope it is that it is a one-off, confined to the history books and never seen again.
It was odd, completely out of place at a World Cup final and more than anything else it was boring.
Ahead of the game, the media, stadium workers and volunteers queued for up to three hours in the baking sun to get into the stadium due to additional security checks because of President Trump’s attendance. And that painful process was more enjoyable than whatever that halftime monstrosity was.
Madonna spent the majority of her performance in the bowls of the stadium, only appearing on the side of the pitch towards the end of her song Music flanked by Brazilian duo Ronaldo and Ronaldinho in what looked more like a scene from the new Ali G film than a live performance. Even then she only bowed. Odd.
Which aside from being a strange decision for what was supposed to be a spectacle, it was more suited to those watching at home on TV rather than those in the stadium who had paid upwards of $4,000 to be there.
Shakira and Burna Boy then performed the official World Cup anthem Dai Dai, which if you have not heard it, is exactly how you would imagine a FIFA commissioned song to sound. And then K-pop band BTS performed their hit Dynamite, which was not my thing, but no notes.
But then things got strange again when Justin Bieber was subbed on by Ted Lasso - a nice plug for the new series - and then proceeded to sing his acoustic song Everything Hallelujah which was dull and tedious. He did change the words to ‘It's the World Cup, Hallelujah’ but that did not make it any better. It was still slow and monotonous.
If the half time show was supposed to get people up and off their seats and dancing a long to then Bieber got his song choice all wrong. It was more likely to send fans to sleep than get them out of their seats.
To be fair to Biebs his performance did see him make more entries into the penalty box than Lionel Messi in the first half.
During the whole half time show I kept asking myself ‘who is this for?’ It was certainly not for football fans. Football fans want a p*ss and a pint at half time, not a weird pop medley that makes the Eurovision Song Contest look vaguely entertaining.
Then there was Pele on the big screen from his New York Cosmos days talking about ‘Love’ and then we were subjected to children on the pitch waving flags and displaying the word ‘LOVE’ in yet another completely pointless act.
The whole thing felt like a weird fever dream combined with an episode of Lip Sync Battle rather than the live extravaganza it was billed as.
All the bookings felt odd and didn’t seem to fit or work together. Earlier in the World Cup Bon Jovi’s hit Livin’ on a Prayer was played during the hydration breaks. And fans were genuinely clapping and singing to the chorus. Given Bon Jovi are in the middle of a nine night residency at Madison Square Garden, they would have been a far better booking than what we were subjected to with this peculiar series of acts..
The only part of the ‘show’ that had some participation was when Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes was played, and that was 'performed' by Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy and Animal, because, why not? At least they know they are Muppets.
Comparisons between this half time show and those at the Super Bowl were made beforehand. But the Super Bowl half time shows are slick and entertaining, they have become ‘must watch’ moments in sport and entertainment. Whatever this was, was not that. Well not for any good reasons anyway. It was neither slick nor entertaining. It was confusing, dull and pointless.
After 20 minutes of watching it, I was left scratching my head wondering what I had just witnessed and why I had witnessed and again the great unanswered question, 'who is this for?'
FIFA must have been delighted when Argentina made the final and not England, because you can be sure of one thing, just like Mexican Waves, the England fans would not have stood for this nonsense and would no doubt have booed the whole farce.
Whoever had the bright idea to introduce this to the world’s biggest sporting event has some questions to answer, because in my opinion this was a poorly judged and poorly executed waste of time. But it will no doubt be lauded a success by FIFA supremo Gianni Infantino and the suits in Zurich.
And let’s not forget the players in all this. For all their careers footballers have trained and played on the basis that there is a 15 minute break for half time and yet on the biggest stage of all they are made to wait longer and their bodies would have cooled down and heightened the risk of injury - when the football did finally resume.
The World Cup in the United States, Canada and Mexico has been an undoubted success but that is in spite of FIFA and not because of them. Hydration breaks, dynamic ticket prices, political interference and now this half time show have no place in football.
Let the game flow and let the fans enjoy the game - stop trying to force fun onto them.
