Big Eck's vaction explanations don't have anybody 'wishing they were here', as Back of the Net's John Foster reveals...
Friends and family of Alex McLeish have told FourFourTwo.com that the postcards sent home by the former Aston Villa boss from his hotel in Magaluf are too boring to be read in their entirety.
Ã¢ÂÂI have to admit, my heart sank when I turned over the picture of a donkey wearing a sombrero and saw AlexÃ¢ÂÂs signature,Ã¢ÂÂ McLeishÃ¢ÂÂs sister Kate explained. Ã¢ÂÂI made it about two-thirds of the way through, but I had to give up during his description of the air-conditioning unit.Ã¢ÂÂ
Ã¢ÂÂAlex means well,Ã¢ÂÂ she continued. Ã¢ÂÂI wish heÃ¢ÂÂd cut loose a little bit and let the words flow, but heÃ¢ÂÂs fixated on joylessly grinding out postcard after postcard. I asked him about it once, and he told me if I wanted excitement I should go read Andy McNabb.Ã¢ÂÂ
"...and on the flight here I watched TWO episodes of Taggart..."
Identical problems reportedly marred postcards sent by McLeish during previous holidays to Blackpool (2007), Center Parcs Longleat (2009 and 2010), and Center Parcs Whinfell (2011).
Sources also indicated that a Ã¢ÂÂpotentially-interestingÃ¢ÂÂ 2008 postcard sent by the ex-Rangers boss from Zadar contained no mention of the sights of the medieval Croatian city, instead focusing on the various breakfast options available in McLeishÃ¢ÂÂs hotel, and his dissatisfaction with all of them.
In other news, the holiday photos taken by Roma boss Zdenek Zeman on his solo parachuting and mountaineering holiday in the Peruvian Andes have been adjudged Ã¢ÂÂtoo excitingÃ¢ÂÂ to be viewed by human eyes, and have been impounded on public safety grounds.
Editor's note: this isn't a serious accusation and all quotes are fictionalised. But you knew that, because you're not stupid.
More from Back of the NetRangers misery 'just great' for the rest of Scottish League
Vogts hopeful everyoneÃ¢ÂÂs forgotten about Scotland by nowNobody acts funny, nobody gets hurt, new Watford owners insist
Pundit Lawrenson admits defenders used to get away with actual murder
Arsenal's swoop for Giroud is great news for Giroud, asserts GiroudSacked Harry looks forward to pursuits outside football, but can't name any
Get the best features, fun and footballing frolics straight to your inbox every week.
Thank you for signing up to Four Four Two. You will receive a verification email shortly.
There was a problem. Please refresh the page and try again.