The Anfield faithful are being advised not to stay calm, as Back of the Net's John Foster explains...
Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard has spoken directly to fans concerned about the clubâÂÂs slow start to the season, in an effort to reassure them that now is indeed the ideal time to panic.
âÂÂIâÂÂm experienced enough to have been in this situation before, and I can tell you, nobody has a clue about what to do,â Gerrard told FourFourTwo.com.
âÂÂIt would be very easy for me to stand here and make excuses and pretend everythingâÂÂs fine, but I think the fans are intelligent enough to know that weâÂÂre deep in the brown stuff.
âÂÂIf I were in their shoes, IâÂÂd be losing it a bit,â he continued.
"PANIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCC!!!"
GerrardâÂÂs words were echoed by new manager Brendan Rodgers, who used last SundayâÂÂs programme notes to call on all Liverpool fans to have a panic-induced breakdown at the first sign of something going wrong.
âÂÂWeâÂÂre at the start of a rebuilding process that will take time,â Rodgers cautioned. âÂÂA lot of time. More time than we have, in all likelihood. If we donâÂÂt get three points at Norwich, then to be perfectly honest I think this football club is finished as an institution.âÂÂ
The Liverpool hero also expressed his sympathy with young teammate Jonjo Shelvey, following his red card against Manchester United for a dangerous tackle.
âÂÂJonjo got a bit overenthusiastic, he had a rush of blood, and heâÂÂs lost control,â said Gerrard. âÂÂIn other words, heâÂÂs panicked, and thatâÂÂs exactly the kind of reckless, unthinking fear we need more of right now.âÂÂ
Meanwhile, Liverpool owner John Henry has backed the teamâÂÂs new panic-stricken direction, pledging to spend upwards of ã60 million pounds on new signings in the January transfer window, regardless of their age, suitability, or talent, taking to Twitter last night to tell fans, âÂÂWeâÂÂre doomed.âÂÂ
Editor's note: this isn't a serious accusation and all quotes are fictionalised. But you knew that, because you're not stupid.
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