Arsenal fan can’t wait to start booing his team again
Arsenal fan Danny Greenwood has spoken of his excitement at finally being able to boo his favourite footballers again.
With the new season just hours away, Greenwood and thousands of his fellow season-ticket holders are eagerly gearing up for another year of criticising his team’s players and undermining their confidence at every turn.
The Camden resident said: “The the only thing I love more than Arsenal winning is Olivier Giroud shanking a volley towards the corner flag, allowing me to unleash a volley of phlegm-speckled rage at him and his worthless parents.
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“Booing the lads in pre-season just isn’t the same. You can tell it doesn’t affect them as much when the stakes aren’t as high, so you almost feel you’re wasting your time. Hopefully we’ll concede early doors on Sunday and we can all round on Hector Bellerin. He’s only 20, so with any luck he should crumble pretty quickly.”
Greenwood added that he had not yet decided which of Arsenal’s players would bear the brunt of his chesty derision, but he had particular hopes for Danny Welbeck.
“Welbz [Danny Welbeck] has so much potential, but if we get under his skin I can see easily see him becoming another Andrey Arshavin,” said the 34-year old claims adjuster.
“It won’t happen by itself, though. It needs people like me to groan whenever he’s brought on as a sub, or cheer ironically every time he completes a pass. It doesn’t finish at the final whistle, either. If you’re not sending players abuse on social media long into the night, you’re not a real Arsenal fan.
“It’s been a long, long summer, but I can’t wait to get out there and show the lads how little they mean to me.”