Monday's Good Day, Bad Day - Round 25
Mad Sammy Eto'o
Cameroon's striking superstar celebrated his first hat-trick in the Spanish league, by grabbing a camera off a Mundo Deportivo pitch side photographer and snapping a rather blurred shot of Bojan.
And Mundo Deportivo were tickled pink by this. "A Hat-Click from Eto'o!" they punned underneath the headline of "It's Two Points!!!! Aarrrgggh!" (The last bit was completely made up).
Unfortunately, the rest of the paper left the reader with the familiar sense of soul-destroying emptiness and inky fingers.
A couple of decent results against Celtic and a Levante side who are bottom of the table and trained for the game by going on strike, let's not forget, have perked up a previously gloomy Frank Rijkaard, no end. "People are back to believing in the side", declared the Dutchman.
Although the title is now in Barcelona's hands - and Real Madrid's as well - the best news from the whole wild weekend is that what had been the easiest of cakewalks for Real Madrid has now become a proper bun fight.
And this is best pastry related pun achieved by the blog since writing a film list containing 'Eclair and Present Danger" and "Crumble in the Bronx". Happy days, indeed.
La Liga Loca may actually have squealed with delirious delight when Uche cooly shot past Iker Casillas to seal one of the funniest moments seen in the Bernabeu since Fernando Gago last attempted to score a goal.
Getafe's last three results at the Bernabeu were a 2-0 defeat, a 1-0 defeat and a 1-1 draw so there was a certain symmetry to their 1-0 win.
Pick of the battling bunch for the visitors was the always magnificent, Cata DÃÂaz, who placed Ruud and Raul in his defensive pocket and carried them around like an Argentine shaped kangaroo.
Copa del Rey semi-finalists, three wins from safety and the only Spanish club in the UEFA cup. Once again, Getafe show that they are consistently, euro for euro, the best team in Spain.
Esteban Granero's Bird
The Getafe midfielder's lady friend now has the honour of kicking Eva Gonzalez' super model booty from the top of La Liga Liga's favourite WAG chart. A charming combination of Shakira, hot french exchange student and someone who works in a video shop.
"He doesn't seem to get tired of scoring the same goal, again and again", marvelled Marca at the Betis striker's 6th headed goal of the season. And pretty much a carbon copy of the other five. Cross comes in from the left, Edu nods it home.
A handy away point for Betis, at Mallorca, but the side are still just two points and two places from Deportivo in the drop-zone.
It wasn't the 27th and 28th goal of the season scored in 31 games, that was remarkable about Fabiano's performance, on Saturday night, against Zaragoza. It was the fact that he did it the day after his wife and children were held at gun point by thieves who broke into his house.
"I moved them into a hotel", said the emotional striker seconds after the end of the 5-0 thrashing.
Another bonus from Sevilla's overwhelming destruction of an awful Zaragoza side was that La Liga Loca was able to flick to Telemadrid and see a dog walking up and down a flight of stairs balancing a small cup of water on its head. A feat to rival that of the Sevilla superstar.
For a wee while, Villarreal's Mexican striker had been the butt of many of La Liga Loca's jokes for not being that good. Especially during the World Cup. Although he always looked a genius compared to JosÃÂ© Mari. A cracking goal against Athletic has forced the blog to call a temporary truce on Guille. But it may be a Gaza Strip style truce, in length.
The Racing Santander striker often plays as his name suggests, but his solitary effort against AlmerÃÂa on Sunday, stops a temporary wobble from Racing Santander that had seen them without a win in five.
The perfect time for the visit of AtlÃÂ©tico Madrid's travelling circus. Osasuna were - and still are - in all sorts of trouble at the bottom of the table, but Ziganda's young guns of Sola and Vela polished off the rubbish rojiblancos in under five minutes.
A sixth defeat in seven! A born-again Barcelona! Things probably couldn't possibly be any worse for Paul in Barcelona had Messi himself broken into his house and drawn a moustache on his life sized cut-out of Raul Tamudo. Keep your beady eye on the comments section for the latest news from the perico world.
La Liga Loca was rather disappointed by the rant-less reaction from the Real Madrid players, manager and press to their comedy defeat, at the hands of Getafe. In the post match press conference, Bernd Schuster ignored or gave a 'no comment' to all leading questions but confessed that the goal was "something that has never happened to me before".
Guti - one of only two Real Madrid footballers to play to the whistle - admitted that "we made a mistake that a four year old kid would make", whilst both Marca and AS condemned the home side's idiocy and chucked more fuel onto La Liga Loca's 'two papers, one brain cell'
theory by both plastering the word 'simpletons' on their front cover.
Pedja, though, couldn't help himself and broke ranks by moaning that the referee "could have stopped play as he saw our players were off celebrating the goal". Comments that Getafe president, Angel Torres, didn't hold water with for a moment.
"Football is for smart people, Pedja, and with the budget Madrid has, you should have put four past us", remarked Torres who is a lifelong card carrying Real Madrid member.
Real Madrid are on the verge of the biggest of bottles. Time to recall Pablo Garcia.
"We are playing for the future in fourteen finals", exclaimed a slightly unhinged Javier Aguirre before Sunday's game. "Incredible. Down in five minutes and fighting against the tide", moaned the Mexican manager, after losing the first of those big games.
The defending for both of Osasuna's early efforts was laughable with former Porto Alegre, Trabzonspor and Al-Wakrah defender, Fabiano Eller, continuing to show why he is one of the worst signings made by the club. Ever.
"Aguirre, Pitarch and Gil Marin should give a talk called, 'how to destroy a club in two days', fumed IÃÂ±aki DÃÂaz-Guerra in AS.
Atleti are now hanging onto fourth place by their footballing finger nails and facing the visit of Barcelona, next weekend. And some of us may remember what happened, last time round.
Yet again, Zaragoza's dirty defender sees red against Sevilla - but not for a cat fight, this time - but for a shocking attempted tackle on Diego Capel who could have gone the way of Eduardo, had it connected.
Fortunately, the Sevilla winger is adept at hurling himself into the air at a whiff of danger and avoided contact.
Zaragoza are in in do-do and have now found themselves dragged into the relegation battle having won just a single away match, all season.
Which is all the more ridiculous considering they have one of the best forward lines in the Primera - but supplied by a midfield desperately missing the creativity of the injured Aimar and the departed d'Alessandro.
An entertainingly inept display from the Serbian striker who is having a season that he would probably rather forget.
The home defeat against Valladolid was a 747 sized hammer blow to Murcia's survival chances. And those of coach, Lucas Alcaraz, according to Monday's papers. And it also made somewhat of a mockery of La Liga Loca's bold prediction of 'Home win. And a big one', on Friday. Not doing that again.
With Villarreal turning the screw, Athletic's defence gave a realistic impression of what happens when a wasp is let loose into a roomful of girls.
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