The Working Like a Dog Weekend Predictions - Round 8
With the world a dark, grim and...er...grim place these days, we should thank all the gods-that-be for AtlÃÂ©tico Madrid for making this boring burden we call life so much easier to bear.
In fact, those eggheads at the Nobel board should invent a brand new award in recognition of their efforts to bring smiles to the faces of football fans all over the world.
A golden giggling clown, perhaps, with an enormous lobotomy scar slashed across its forehead.
ItÃ¢ÂÂs Atleti who kick off Round 8 of la Liga and what a truly wonderful week it has been in the Rojiblanco world.
It began with a 3-0 pummelling by Osasuna in Pamplona, continued with a 4-0 stomping at Stamford Bridge and has ended with no one having the faintest idea of who is charge at the Vicente CalderÃÂ³n.
On the institutional front, main shareholder and chief blame-dodger Miguel Angel Gil has done a runner from the sporting side of the institution by announcing that he will be focusing mainly on the finances.
And thatÃ¢ÂÂs a good move for Atleti considering that his family is well known for its skill in accumulating cash by all possible means.
Especially when you take into account that he will be backed by Oscar Gil, Myriam Gil and Severiano Gil, who are listed as 'consultants'.
That leaves Enrique Cerezo in charge of the rest of the club, and what a fine job he's doing.
Before WednesdayÃ¢ÂÂs Chelsea encounter, the film producer said that Ã¢ÂÂWe win and lose togetherÃ¢ÂÂ and snapped at journos for harbouring doubts over his honesty over the future of coach Abel Resino.
Ã¢ÂÂIt would be crazy to think about changing the manager,Ã¢ÂÂ ranted the club president. Ã¢ÂÂDo you think that with the week we have, that we have time to think about changing the coach?Ã¢ÂÂ
Well, crazy is as crazy does. Which is why, some 24 hours later, Cerezo was offering the trainerÃ¢ÂÂs role to (and getting rejected by) Michael Laudrup.
With sporting director JesÃÂºs Pitarch admitting that Resino had stopped taking his phone calls three days ago, no one is entirely sure who will be on the Rojiblanco bench for the home clash against Mallorca.
At time of writing, it could be Abel Resino, Luciano Spalletti, Quique SÃÂ¡nchez-Flores or Paco the Performing Pony, who will stomp his hoof to indicate the squad numbers of the players that he wishes to select.
Straight after AtlÃÂ©ticoÃ¢ÂÂs goalless draw itÃ¢ÂÂs Real Madrid in action up in GijÃÂ³n.
And FridayÃ¢ÂÂs edition of Marca throws its hands up in the air in an enormous huff, admitting that, despite some 250 million Euros being blown on a brand-new squad, the club is a one-man team.
Ã¢ÂÂCristiano works like a dog to return now!Ã¢ÂÂ claims MarcaÃ¢ÂÂs headline in a feature picturing the Portuguese player posing in the clubÃ¢ÂÂs training centre that tries to turn those Real Madrid frowns upside down.
Ã¢ÂÂCristianoÃ¢ÂÂs attitude is an example of professionalism,Ã¢ÂÂ gushes an editorial based on the simple fact that he turns up at Valdebebas every day to receive treatment for his ankle injury.
Judging by MarcaÃ¢ÂÂs standards, all of you employed people who continue to drag yourselves to work should give yourselves pats on the back, as you too are Ã¢ÂÂan example of professionalism.Ã¢ÂÂ
Saturday's final match sees Espanyol travelling to Sevilla, with uncertainty over whether RaÃÂºl Tamudo will be in the Perico squad or not.
With his tearful claims of ill-treatment from the club having being proved to be somewhat silly, talks are still ongoing as to whether the forward will be kicked out straight away or wait until the winter window to make his move.
Ã¢ÂÂWhatever happens, I hope he goes out the Big Door,Ã¢ÂÂ shrugged club captain Ivan de la PeÃÂ±a.
SundayÃ¢ÂÂs football fiesta starts with Tenerife against Xerez.
The visitors' majority shareholder JoaquÃÂn Morales made the news this week, by giving away 30 percent of his shares to a local gentleman with the nickname of El Turronero Ã¢ÂÂ Ã¢ÂÂthe Cake-MakerÃ¢ÂÂ (sort of) Ã¢ÂÂ to cover a 3.5 million Euro debt between the pair.
And what with this being Andalusia, and in particular Xerez, this doesnÃ¢ÂÂt sound too dodgy at all.
It was yet more misery for Villarreal on Thursday night, with the Yellow Submarine losing to Lazio in injury-time of their Europa League clash.
However, they have one more chance of redemption on Sunday by beating MÃÂ¡laga - another side in an enormous mess, second-from-bottom of the table.
Fourth-placed - FOURTH! - Deportivo will be boring the pants off Valladolid fans on Sunday, while a truly shambolic Getafe will be being beaten by those bruisers from Bilbao.
And it is to the manager of Athletic that the blog next turns its attention, to report on an interview that JoaquÃÂn CaparrÃÂ³s gave to Marca a couple of weeks back on a wide-ranging smorgasbord of topics.
As is to be expected, the hyperactive Andalusian was in fine form, expressing his concerns over what will happen if Iran get the bomb, and Spain's Mafia: Ã¢ÂÂUnfortunately, it exists but it comes with suits and ties,Ã¢ÂÂ tutted CaparrÃÂ³s.
But it was on the topic of prejudice against gay footballers in la Liga that the former Sevilla boss had his most interesting moment, with his declaration that that it doesnÃ¢ÂÂt exist simply because Ã¢ÂÂthere arenÃ¢ÂÂt any."
Racing host Osasuna with the main news from the Pamplonan camp being that French winger Ludovic Delporte - who used to be great, once - continues to make Arjen Robben look like Iron Man by picking up his 15th major injury in three years.
AlmerÃÂa host Valencia in Sunday's 7pm kick-off with Barcelona taking on Zaragoza at 9pm.
And that match will see the launch of a new advertising campaign for the Camp Nou club: their major players adorned in muscles and tattoos boasting that Ã¢ÂÂwe will play out of our skinsÃ¢ÂÂ as a rough translation of their new slogan.
Despite a goalless draw and a home defeat in BarÃÂ§a's last two games, Sport are on hand with a typically balanced article on the state of the side that claims that Ã¢ÂÂthe four basic principles of Barcelona - hard work, dedication, solidarity and talent - remain intact.Ã¢ÂÂ
And so, it appears, does the sideÃ¢ÂÂs uncanny ability for insufferable smugness.
Round 8 Predictions
AtlÃÂ©tico v Mallorca - Draw
Sporting v Real Madrid - Away win
Sevilla v Espanyol - Home win
Tenerife v Xerez - Home win
Villarreal v MÃÂ¡laga - Home win
Valladolid v Deportivo - Draw
Getafe v Athletic - Away win
Racing v Osasuna - Draw
AlmerÃÂa v Valencia - Home win
Barcelona v Zaragoza - Home win
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