La LigaÃ¢ÂÂs Good Day, Bad Day - Round 17
Quique SÃÂ¡nchez FloresÃ¢ÂÂ tactic of insults, humiliation and good old-fashioned physical torment towards his players in the wake of the midweek defeat to Recreativo has proved so successful that La Liga Loca suspects that the club is considering installing a pain dungeon in the bowels of the Vicente CalderÃÂ³n.
Then again, after hearing some of the somewhat sticky stories from AtletiÃ¢ÂÂs overseas tours in recent years, that may not be the best of ideas.
The 4-0 away win over Valladolid will no doubt delight and infuriate the Rojiblanco support as they contemplate why their players can only be bothered giving a hamsterÃ¢ÂÂs hat in a very select group of games.
Or perhaps the victory was down to the simple fact that Atleti Ã¢ÂÂcouldnÃ¢ÂÂt keep on playing as badly as we were,Ã¢ÂÂ as Quique himself said?
JosÃÂ© Antonio Reyes
Unbelievably, the second-half strike from Reyes against Valladolid was his first goal for AtlÃÂ©tico in one-and-a-half seasons at the club - an event set to start off a whole new round of short-lived Ã¢ÂÂReyes is backÃ¢ÂÂ headlines.
To celebrate the strike, the Rojiblanco winger has decided to dedicate the goal to his son, the imaginatively named JosÃÂ© Antonio Reyes.
Ã¢ÂÂFor someone who has no responsibility, he is incredibly cool-headed,Ã¢ÂÂ purred Racing captain Pedro Munitis on his 18-year-old striking partner.
Out of contract in June, Canales scored a wonderful brace against Sevilla on Saturday, showing incredible composure in the process to set off a Wacky Races-style chase for his signature.
Juan Manuel Lillo
The mad-as-a-bag-of-spanners AlmerÃÂa manager could have faced the wintry touchline conditions in El Madrigal in an overcoat or jacket.
But no, Juan Manuel Lillo enjoyed the encounter clad in jeans and a light sweater. Genius. He pulled off an unlikely 1-1 draw against Villarreal too.
Perhaps after a poke from Florentino PÃÂ©rez, Marca floated the idea of a Cesc Fabregas-HiguaÃÂn swap in a poll last week.
The results showed that 88 percent of the Madridista masses thought that would be a terrible idea.
The 12 percent who disagreed need a good slap, as it was HiguaÃÂn who once again led Madrid to victory with a goal and an assist whilst Cristiano Ronaldo generally tarted about the pitch like a big, pretty pony and KakÃÂ¡ continued to endanger the lives of fans sitting either side of the Bernabeu goals with his abstract approach to shooting.
Although it was Leo Messi who grabbed a hat-trick against Tenerife, the (other) pint-sized poacher was the big winner of the night with a couple of assists - and good ones, too.
Pep Guardiola isn't really an admirer of the youngster, so another poor performance could have spelled the end of days for the (other) bowl-haired striker.
Barcelona owed a great deal to Victor ValdÃÂ©s for their victory after the keeper prevented a first-half whitewash by a terrifically tenacious Tenerife, with Guardiola admitting that Ã¢ÂÂthey had three clear chances and we were in trouble.Ã¢ÂÂ
But some rapid fire action from Messi lead to a 5-0 scoreline and Sport smugly declaring on Monday that BarÃÂ§a fans are Ã¢ÂÂsuper happy and super calm.Ã¢ÂÂ
Manuel PreciadoÃ¢ÂÂs men are certainly a lot less entertaining than they were last year with barely a 4-3 to be seen.
The 1-0 win over Getafe in El MolinÃÂ³n was the fourth of the same scoreline this season, but more importantly SportingÃ¢ÂÂs first victory in five.
This Primera pragmatism should see them hanging around for another season in the top flight, which is a very good thing indeed.
AS call him Ã¢ÂÂomnipresentÃ¢ÂÂ and a classy, spinny strike makes the midfielder DeportivoÃ¢ÂÂs leading goal-scorer.
The fact that his tally is two and the leadership is shared by eight others shouldnÃ¢ÂÂt detract anything from the achievement.
Another 1-0 win from Depor moved the team into - gulp - fourth.
Look at that! Espanyol slay the mighty Zaragoza thanks to a goalkeeping gaffe and a deflected shot off the post.
And hereÃ¢ÂÂs Paul from Barcelona to tell us all about it.
Ã¢ÂÂWell, that wasn't very good. Both teams struggled to maintain any kind of rhythm.
The first goal for Espanyol was a Victor ValdÃÂ©s-style howler which VerdÃÂº gratefully returned with interest and Zaragoza's equaliser came courtesy of blog favourite Angel Arizmendi.
Well, it didn't, really. It deflected off Moises.
The winner came thanks to the only thing Callejon did right all match when his shot was saved and the rebound fell to Marques who scored the winner.
1) Zaragoza are the worst team I've seen this season. Very poor indeed.
2) Jermaine Pennant probably wishes for a return to Notts County. Has got to be better than his current plight. He looked a bit lost and was substituted.
3) Abysmal refereeing as usual. How only one Zaragoza player got booked is beyond me. Dirty team.
4) While not quite as bad as our Beloved Leader would have us believe, Arizmendi is not very good.
5) Zaragoza's fans applauding the 21st-minute tribute to Jarque. Not just a few: by the end of the minute it was nearly all of them. Good support, they deserve betterÃ¢ÂÂ.
Although Valencia managed nothing more than what 11 other sides have achieved this season in beating Xerez, the 3-1 victory gives the Mestalla men seven away wins this season, the best record in La Primera.
Now if Unai EmeryÃ¢ÂÂs men hadn't been such dozy dolts in failing to win five at home, the eight-point margin that currently separates themselves from Barcelona may have been considerably smaller.
Real Madrid fans
Ã¢ÂÂ53,000 heroesÃ¢ÂÂ says TomÃÂ¡s Roncero in AS after the brave little soldiers went to watch the game in MadridÃ¢ÂÂs FULLY HEATED stadium.
Oh my, oh my. SevillaÃ¢ÂÂs performance on Saturday night was a complete shambles.
Diego Perotti and Diego Capel bombing up the wings with little clue of what to do once they ran into the touchline, the defence a mess and the central midfield non-existent.
The home defeat to Racing is SevillaÃ¢ÂÂs third in a row in La Liga (all with the same 2-1 scoreline) and leaves Manolo JimÃÂ©nez under enormous pressure.
Ã¢ÂÂWeÃ¢ÂÂve lost all respect for ourselves,Ã¢ÂÂ admitted the crestfallen Sevilla coach.
A desperately frustrating evening for Tenerife, who could have pulled off a storming victory over a rattled Barcelona.
But unfortunately, as coach JosÃÂ© Luis Oltra shrugged after the game, Ã¢ÂÂthe result was too harsh Ã¢ÂÂ but weÃ¢ÂÂve seen this film beforeÃ¢ÂÂ.
The Canary Islanders have picked up just one win in nine, which is of little comfort to the Tenerife fans whose only enjoyment from Sunday night was being able to watch a game of football in T-shirts whilst the rest of the country froze their t*ts off.
Soporific stuff from the Yellow Submarine.
The southern sideÃ¢ÂÂs unbeaten run now extends to eight, but includes just one win. And that's why MÃÂ¡laga are still in the bottom three.
However, they were a little unlucky during SundayÃ¢ÂÂs 1-1 home draw against Athletic with the visitors being given the softest of penalties.
And it has been all quiet on the Basque front in response to the decision, which is in stark contrast to the conspiracy lunacy that will be launched should Real Madrid benefit from something similar next weekend in San MamÃÂ©s.
Despite having been caught out several hundred times over, JosÃÂ© Luis MendilibarÃ¢ÂÂs love of an astonishingly high defence shows no sign of diminishing anytime soon.
SaturdayÃ¢ÂÂs 4-0 defeat against AtlÃÂ©tico is just another example of a tactic that may need some tinkering.
Having scored an actual goal against Valencia, the bottom of the table team almost, almost made it into the Good Day section. But they didnÃ¢ÂÂt.
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