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Would it be a World Cup without a Nike advert to go along with it?
From the 1996 ‘Match in Hell’, to the 1998 Brazil squad skilfully playing their way through an airport, to a run of adverts featuring Ronaldinho, the sportswear giant have excelled like no others at creating memorable football-based ad spots.
This year’s edition is no different, with Nike pulling out all the stops to feature stars not just from the world of modern football, but players from past generations, other sports, fictional managers, and the odd A-list celebrity or two.
People you recognise do exciting things in mammoth Nike advert
The full advert runs to six minutes long and features France in action against Spain, with a fashionably(?) permed and bespectacled manager in a black turtleneck cheering on from the sidelines.
Only, when Kylian Mbappe fires a spectacular overhead kick into the top corner, the manager loses his mind in despair, shouting “NO!”
The CGI stadium drops away, and the manager is revealed to in fact be the advert’s director, who angrily rebukes Mbappe that he wants no improvisation and no theatrics: “Just head the ball, with your head!”
Mbappe looks unimpressed, shares shrugs and shakes of the head with a collection of other Nike-sponsored players including Bruno Fernandes, Vinicius Jr and Jamal Musiala, who complains about how long the shoot is taking, identifying the director as the problem.
A Kardashian of some description (that’s as specific as we care to get) wanders onto set, and Nico Williams suddenly bursts into a dribble, to the dismay of the director, who implores him to stop.
Other players join in, and security are called as Vinicius takes over to dribble through security, smashing them into the walls. Erling Haaland meanwhile refuses to join in.
The action proceeds through various backstage areas from there, with Mbappe and Williams eventually bursting through a TV studio where Kate Scott is in the middle of hosting. One of her pundits, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, follows them out.
Next, it’s through an advert set in ‘Croydon, 1995’ – the scene of Eric Cantona’s infamous kung fu kick – with the man himself recreating his ‘when seagulls follow the trawler…’ speech on a small fishing boat.
The ball then interrupts a pitch meeting with a couple of corporate suits, who are meeting with Cristiano Ronaldo and LeBron James, before proceeding onto an action film set where, to everyone’s horror, Ronaldo runs into a building in the hunt for a loose ball that promptly explodes. We honestly don’t know why they’re upset by that, but there we go. Van Dijk screams 'why won't you just die', only 'die' is cut off because ommm that's a naughty word.
After a brief appearance from notable World Cup absentee Cole Palmer, there is, of course, a Ted Lasso cameo as the fray returns to the original green screen set, with Jason Sudeikis asking what they’re filming amid the chaos.
All the players run onto the pitch chasing down the ball, and a rabona from Vinicius to cross the ball into the box sparks a melee to reach the loose ball, which is eventually met by a child….
….except it isn’t, because Haaland finally springs into life, vaults high over the child’s head, and smashes in a bicycle kick, before smooching a kiss into the camera. Smash cut to the Nike logo and the slogan “rip the script”.
That’s…a lot of stuff, and it remains to be seen exactly how they intend to splice it up to fit it within the confines of a standard three and a half minute ad break throughout the tournament.
We expect that the ad will rarely get an airing at its full length on TV, and there is plenty there that they can carve up and roll out in chunks.
There’s no doubt that it is absolutely chock full of things, possibly to the point of excess when viewed all in one go.
Space Jam 2 was infamously criticised/lauded (depending who you listen to) for feeling like it was designed for viewers with an attention span of approximately 1.5 seconds. "Don’t like this bit? Don’t worry, there’s a completely different thing coming in a moment."
There’s a bit of that going on here: the central conceit is maintained throughout, but the sheer number of cameos and references can feel a bit cheap, as if they did not have total trust in the audience to bear with a single well-formed concept.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing: that’s just modern advertising and TV exec logic.
But we expect it may hurt its extended legacy. You say “airport”, and you think of that Brazil advert. It was spectacular, but cohesive. One word evokes that advert. It took us 444 words to recap this one.
That makes it hard to say which single image will live long in the memory from this year’s effort, because there is just so much going on.
Still, it is undeniably exciting and entertaining, and the big plus is that there will be something here for everyone to enjoy.
Ultimately...has it got us excited for the World Cup? Yes. Does it make us think Nike are cool? Also yes. Mission accomplished.
Four and a half star wipes. You heard it here first.
