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Roy Hodgson only interested in total revenge on Harry the Hornet

Harry the Hornet

The Crystal Palace boss plotting to stir up the hornet’s nest, Back of the Net reports

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Crystal Palace boss Roy Hodgson has alarmed those around him with his increasingly militant stance on Watford mascot Harry the Hornet, Back of the Net can reveal.

After Watford got the better of Palace on Sunday afternoon it was expected that Hodgson would move on from his spat with the opposition mascot, but instead it seems to have intensified his bitterness.

Reporting for training today, players were unnerved to find Hodgson – still dripping wet after his drenching on the Vicarage Road sidelines – standing in front of a whiteboard littered with pictures of Harry the Hornet, snippets of information about hornets with passages underlined, and a Charlotte Hornets basketball jersey which appears to have been a red herring.

“We were expecting Roy to sit us down, tell us to move on and focus on Swansea away, but he did exactly the opposite,” James McArthur told FourFourTwo.

“He insisted on watching the entire 90 minutes of the Watford defeat, but with a fixed camera that was focusing only on Harry the Hornet.

“Occasionally he’d stop and highlight Harry’s movement, and through gritted teeth admit that it was world-class.

“Then he told us exactly where he expects Harry the Hornet to strike next, which was, somewhat unsurprisingly, at Watford’s next home game.

“It seemed like it’d taken him most of the night to come up with that little nugget of information.”

Roy Hodgson

Upping the ante

Perhaps most worrying is that Hodgson appears unable to accept that Harry the Hornet is in fact a man in a costume.

“I got the distinct impression that Roy was planning to eliminate Harry as you might an actual hornet,” McArthur continued.

“When I gently tried to point out that ‘Harry’ is a middle-aged man, the gaffer didn’t seem to compute at all. He just repeated that he had some pest control to take care of while winking,”

“It [the spat with Watford’s mascot Harry the Hornet] consumes him,” a close friend of Hodgson told FFT.

“One minute he can seem his normal, chatty self, and the next he goes cold and stares into the distance. It happens a lot, especially if a wasp or bee flies by.

“He’ll mutter something like ‘enjoy it while you can my friend, it’ll be time for you to buzz off soon enough’ and let out a mirthless laugh. Then he’ll be right back into the conversation.”

It’s not certain whether Hodgson will travel to Swansea with his team tomorrow after he was last seen heading towards Watford with an apiarist beekeeping suit on.

Please note: This story is satirical – obviously. 

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