How Dennis Wise ruined football
What's the deal with bringing kids and loved ones onto the pitch these days? When did it suddenly become OK to carry a new-born onto the pitch in front of 40,000 fans?
It's not like they are going to remember it, and some parents even go so far as to put ear-plugs in them. What's the point of that!
Here's an idea, just don't bring them on the pitch at all. Leave them with their mum or your current squeeze up in your private box. Fans don't spend ÃÂ£50 on a ticket to come and see players show off their kids and trophy brides, no matter how beautiful they might think they are.
It's completely selfish and they are only doing it to boost their own self image. Do we really care that John Terry and his wife seem to have forgotten the last couple of months? Just be humble and clap John.
It's got out of hand now; players are bringing their kids on to the pitch for the last day of the season's 'lap of appreciation' - even when the team hasn't won anything.
What will the players want to show off next? Pet Chinchillas or brand new Ferraris?
How about showing some humility and team spirit and maybe some appreciation to the fans that have sat through a season whatever the weather and have paid their money for the extortionate season tickets that let the players buy stupid dogs and fast cars.
Do you know who's to blame for this craze? Dennis Wise.
Back in 2000 when Chelsea won the FA Cup, Dennis as captain led the team up to collect the trophy. Some players took scarves and hats from nearby fans as normal, but not Dennis.
No, Dennis decided to take his new-born baby up with him. Why? He's got to try and lift the FA Cup and his kid at the same time. What about the two-handed, turn to the crowd and shake the cup pose?
Suppose the kid grows up and hates Chelsea. They can never support another team because their dad dressed them up in a Chelsea kit and showed them off to the world on cup final day. It's not like it's a Europa League match on ITV4 or Five. It's the FA Cup final, beamed around the world!
This Saturday when Chelsea win the FA Cup we can expect to see birds, kids and FA Cup medals celebrated by the players, and we'll get another reminder of how great it is to be a footballer.
We've gone as far as to offer some betting on the wives and kids. Sorry Pompey fans, we didn't price up the odds of Kanu and co bringing on their young ones.
3/1 - John Terry to take his kids up with him to lift the FA Cup.
10/1 - John Terry to have his wife and kids on the pitch as part of the celebrations
200/1 - Christine Bleakley and Cheryl Cole to appear on the pitch for the celebrations