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Michael Bridges still calls Australia home

The dirt from Down Under is in an English kind of mood, and it's not just because the blog is desperate to make The Guardian's online "favourite things this week" shortlist.

Michael Bridges - that amiable Geordie of a seemingly innumerable host of clubs including, most famously, Leeds United - has returned to the A-League to ply his trade with the Newcastle Jets.

Strong in the air, powerful in the shot and every other footballing cliché one cares to mention, Bridges won over fans with his whole-hearted commitment to the cause - which stood him in glaring contrast to several other A-League imports.

But if the Mother Country is willing to send the likes of Robbie Fowler and Michael Bridges to a land down under, we'll gladly take them.

The one club still sweating profusely on crowd figures is Brisbane Roar, and it's not because of the sub-tropical climate in South-East Queensland.

So desperate are Brisbane to usher fans through the gate for the derby with local rivals Gold Coast United, they've hired the services of one Warwick Capper.

Capper is a former Australian Rules player, who upon being recruited by Brisbane to spruik the derby, admitted that he hadn't seen a game of 'soccer' in over 20 years.

He's also synonymous with wearing the world's tightest pair of shorts, launching an abortive porn career and failing in a 2009 Queensland State Election bid because he didn't bother submitting official documentation.

In other words, he's the kind of guy that makes Paris Hilton look like a stable and intelligent human being.

His recruitment as an official Brisbane Roar mouthpiece smacks of desperation of the last-chance saloon variety, with the Roar seemingly staggering towards death's door.

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