MarcaâÂÂs furious pounding at the gates of Castle Greyskull means that everything has changed in snowy Spain. Everything.
Up is now down, right is now wrong and Andy & Lucas are the new Lennon and McCartney
The slew of slurry that has been hurled over MadridâÂÂs fortress walls began yesterday and does not look like ending any time soon.
The journalistic siege was enough to force an under-the-cosh Ramón Calderón go on Spanish radio on Tuesday night to confess that âÂÂI donâÂÂt know what I have to do to demonstrate that IâÂÂm not a swine.âÂÂ
This complete lack of toe-curling toadying in MadridâÂÂs direction from Marca has sent the stability-loving La Liga Loca into a bit of tizz.
So, to restore some semblance of order to this ever-changing world in which we live in, the blog has sought sanctuary in a couple of family favourites... boardroom battles at Valencia and squabbling at Atlético Madrid.
Over the weekend, AS tracked down the Evertonian Mikel Arteta - primarily to bombard him with questions about the greatness of Raúl and Real Madrid.
But amongst the Bernabeu-based probing, the midfielder was able to make an insightful point concerning Spanish footballâÂÂs much-loved hierarchal system - or blame-avoidance strategy as some mischievous souls might suggest.
âÂÂOver there, we have a president, sporting director, trainer, president of the sporting commission... I see our president once every four months, if I see him at all,â revealed Arteta.
The club that is completely potty about all things presidential is Valencia, which is potentially on the brink of bringing in its fifth in less than a year.
For those lucky readers new to the world of Spanish football or have perhaps completely lost track of the madness of Mestalla - hereâÂÂs a quick La Liga Loca recap.
The very jowley Juan Bautista Soler was president of Valencia until the latter stages of last season.
He walked away from the job to be replaced by a stand-in, who was then replaced by Juan Villalonga for about two weeks.
The former Telefonica boss made the mistake of commenting on what a complete mess the club was in and was sacked, replaced by Vicente Soriano who was the clubâÂÂs VP under Soler but came to an agreement to buy out his former bossâÂÂs majority shareholding.
Where things have gone a little bit up the swanny since, is that Soriano has yet to stump up the 70 odd million euro needed to take over the Soler clanâÂÂs shareholding.
And it would appear that the family either want their cash or Soriano out, feeling that he is making a pigâÂÂs ear of running of the club.
The Solers - a bit like the Cosbys but without the charm but with the comedy - are also reported to be unhappy at SorianoâÂÂs inability to lead the Mestalla club out of their current financial mess - the mess left by themselves, mind - that sees them with their bank credit line cut off and unable to sell off the land of the old Mestalla.
To make matters worse, El Pais reported over Christmas that the purchase of the land of the new stadium is being investigated by The Man due to the familiar reason of âÂÂirregularitiesâÂÂ.
A crisis meeting between Bautista Soler and Soriano was held on Monday, with Marca reporting that the latter has been given two weeks to sort his affairs out before the old guard potentially move back in and appoint a replacement.
âÂÂThe hard work we have been doing is about to come to fruition,â pleaded Soriano to the press, âÂÂwe just need more time.âÂÂ
And it is presidential problems that is dominating the Atlético news agenda in the Spanish capital.
After SundayâÂÂs home defeat to Athletic Bilbao - a loss that saw yet more calls for the sacking of Javier Aguirre - club president Enrique Cerezo decided to tootle on down to the dressing room to meet the despondent players.
And it was, vice-captain, Antonio López who explained what happened next.
âÂÂCerezo came into the dressing room after the game and shook our hands. But he didnâÂÂt say anything,â complained the former international full-back.
âÂÂHe needs to act more with his head and less with his heart,â continued López on his presidentâÂÂs less than appreciated gesture.
âÂÂIn any case, we will find out what he says from the press,â sniffed the defender with more than a hint that not everything is rosy in AtléticoâÂÂs garden.
More dirt was dished during the game when Seitaridis - along with Luis Garcia, seemingly loathed by the Calderón crowd - pulled out at half-time - and at very short notice - claiming a muscle strain, forcing the yet-to-warm-up PernÃÂa onto the pitch.
âÂÂAll he did was pass backwards,â complained one witness to the blog on the Greek defenderâÂÂs less than stunning performance.
Cerezo went before the press on Tuesday to claim that the dressing room was one big happy family. Oh yes.
âÂÂThere isnâÂÂt even the slightest crack, not a single clan,â beamed Cerezo who said that he had met with Antonio López and that they were Best Friends Forever.
On Wednesday night, Atlético have the chance to put all their troubles behind them with a nice Copa del Rey match. Against Barcelona. In the Camp Nou.
Oh dear.
----------------------------------------------
Thank you for reading 5 articles this month* Join now for unlimited access
Enjoy your first month for just £1 / $1 / €1
*Read 5 free articles per month without a subscription
Join now for unlimited access
Try first month for just £1 / $1 / €1
