Sometimes a bile-letting bout of finger-pointing and blame-gaming can be both a useful and entertaining exercise.
After all, the Jack Bauer side to La Liga Loca doesnâÂÂt think there has been nearly enough cattle-prod poking of those responsible for the hell-in-a-handcart financial meltdown the world is currently enjoying.
If outright torture is perhaps going too far for some lily-livered liberals then maybe the guilty parties could instead be introduced to public stocks of a very non-financial kind?
As to be expected after SaturdayâÂÂs Montjuic mayhem, the accusing and abusing is still rumbling on in Catalunya.
The lazy stereotyping by the blog, but all too true Mediterranean âÂÂitâÂÂs not my faultâ shrug is being used to full effect as those involved in the foul business are fingered for their role in the rumpus.
ASâ Alfredo Relaño is torn between his natural dislike of Barcelona and his permanent pomposity and attacks Perico president, Daniel Sánchez Llibre for his âÂÂmoral cowardiceâ after the game due his spittle-flying attack on the referee, the Barcelona supporters and, rather improbably, S-Club 7.
The Madrid paperâÂÂs editor also wags a tutting finger at the Barcelona players and the celebration of their two goals.
âÂÂHow can we warn, and IâÂÂm not saying punish, illustrious personalities such as Henry, EtoâÂÂo, Messi, Marquez and even Piqué?â asked Alfredo in a rhetorical mood.
âÂÂDonâÂÂt do it at allâ was the message from Carles Puyol on Monday, who argued that he could not see what all the fuss was about.
âÂÂWe celebrated because we were happy,â argued the Culé captain, who condemned the violence but also used the famous âÂÂBetis defenceâ that âÂÂit doesnâÂÂt just happen here, it happens everywhereâ to explain away the mayhem.
Pique and Puyol cause a stir celebrating last-gasp goal
Sport director, Santi Nolla is also caught between two camps but seems to have plonked himself down with the Pericos by arguing that âÂÂthe referee punished Espanyol too much with the sending off of Nenéâ and demands that âÂÂthis must be the last derby where the violent Boixos can go.âÂÂ
Down the coast in Valencia and JoaquÃÂn has been dropping hints the size of ManicheâÂÂs football shorts as to who was to blame for last seasonâÂÂs disappointing debacle.
From the safety of the top of the table and with a couple of decent performances under his Andalusian belt, the winger explained that âÂÂnow the coach knows whatâÂÂs what and doesnâÂÂt go about making things up.âÂÂ
And as for the players who were rocking the Mestalla boat most last season, JoaquÃÂn would prefer to keep Mum - although a very different Mum to the one who reportedly breast fed him until he was six.
âÂÂItâÂÂs not that anyone especially caused problems, although Marco Caneira had issues with certain players and Cañizares was apart from the rest of the team,â recalled the midfielder.
âÂÂBut you canâÂÂt just point them out as the only guilty ones,â explained JoaquÃÂn whilst pointing them out as the only guilty ones.
TuesdayâÂÂs Marca couldnâÂÂt give too hoots about Espanyol, Barcelona, Valencia or anyone else considering Real Madrid are in action against Zenit St. Petersburg.
And in an especially bipolar edition of the paper, the front cover boasts that Madrid have the âÂÂbest attack and best defence in Europe,â but admit on page three that Bernd SchusterâÂÂs men have not won away in Europe for two years.
In breaking with recent tradition, the Real Madrid squad will not be travelling to Russia in the creaky old, found-in-the-desert, not allowed to fly at night, La Saeta - their much heralded Super Jet from last season.
The Airbus 320 - Real's aeroplane of choice for 2008
After all, it was a plane so decrepit that some players had to be carried on after being tempted by glasses of milk laced with sleeping pills.
Unofficial club spokesman Roberto Gómez, writing in Marca, says that Madrid are about to lease a brand new Airbus 320 - to be called âÂÂLa Saetaâ for 600,000 euros a year - a plane that âÂÂwill have a TV in each seat,â according to the easily pleased Marca man.
Alas, there is no explanation in the paper as to what has happened to the La Saeta version one. But expect parts of it to be found in your next refrigerator.
