The handballing, lip-smacking Premier Review

What a contrasting week it’s been in North London. Tottenham, and Woody Allen’s Danny Rose capped his debut with a stunning volley midweek in the derby.

He struck his left-footed screamer with such force that it actually looked as though Manuel Almunia pulled his hands away from the ball at the last minute.

Spurs looked superb against the Gunners and continued their fabulous form on Saturday by picking up another well deserved three points against top of the table Chelsea.

It turned out to be a miserable day for the Blues and John Terry in particular. The Chelsea skipper was sent off for two yellow card offences and it was also his handball which resulted in Spurs’ opener from the penalty spot.

So just to get it straight, three Chelsea handballs in the penalty area = one penalty kick.

So while Chelsea are hanging on to top spot, Spurs move into fourth as City lost to United in the Manchester derby.

I know this will come as a shock, but United won the game in the final minute of added time. Paul Scholes rose above, well nobody actually as the marking was so awful, and powered a header into the corner of Shay Given’s net.

Unfortunately, the winner sparked one of the most horrific images ever witnessed in world football. Neville Neville’s son, Gary, planting a sloppy wet kiss on Scholes’ lips.

Alternative Premier League

Last week West Ham won a game, yes you read that correctly. They not only won a game, but they also knocked Sunderland off the top of the Alternative Premier League.

Next up for the Hammers are Liverpool on Monday and with Fernando Torres out for the season, I doubt West Ham’s defence will suffer sleepless nights worrying about goal machine David Ngog running them ragged.

Zamora, Heskey, Davies, and now we can add Dave Kitson to the list. No it’s not for a spot in England’s World Cup squad, it’s to the growing list of misses of the season.

Kitson skied the ball into the crowd from two yards out during his side’s 2-1 loss to Bolton, who have now given themselves a wonderful opportunity to stay up. The same can be said of Wigan.

The Latics provided the performance of the week, coming back from 2-0 down to Arsenal and winning 3-2. Dare I say the Gunners' title hopes are now over again?

Charles N’Zogbia belted in the winner in stoppage time, as the Latics pulled of an amazing comeback scoring three goals in the final 10 minutes. N’Zogbia’s strike was hit with such force that like Arsene Wenger, Arsenal’s stand in goalkeeper Lukasz Fabianski didn’t see it.

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