I write from the press box at Barcelona. This time next week IâÂÂll be at Barnsley.
The game is two minutes old and the Russian champions Rubin Kazan have just taken a shock lead against a very strong Barca side with a superb strike.
As the 600 travelling fans go delirious, Pep GuardiolaâÂÂs assertion that this is BarçaâÂÂs biggest game of the season so far suddenly seems justified.
The Barca coach had a midsummer nightâÂÂs dream that his side will be tripped up in Europe, but this isnâÂÂt going to turn into a match report.
IâÂÂll wind back six hours and a phone call from King Lear.
âÂÂCome for a coffee,â he said, âÂÂIâÂÂve got someone interesting that youâÂÂd like to meet. He plays for Brrrm Brrmmâ¦âÂÂ
I didnâÂÂt catch the last bit, but the King is always good value and we met. The player with him was the brilliantly named Macbeth Sibaya.
âÂÂWho do you play for?â I asked.
âÂÂRubin Kazan,â he replied. âÂÂWe play in the city of Kazan, about an hourâÂÂs flight east of Moscow.âÂÂ
With a population of 1.1 million, itâÂÂs no hamlet.
âÂÂThree years ago I picked up a three-game UEFA ban,â continued Macbeth, who thought at the time that it was much ado about nothing.
âÂÂThe third game of that ban is tonight⦠against Barcelona in the Camp Nou. Can you believe it?âÂÂ
Macbeth is also a South African international, with 53 caps to his name and fully expects to play in the World Cup.
Born in Durban, his professional career started in Hungary, before he played for two years with Jomo Cosmos in South Africa.
"What's done is done"
He signed for Rubin in 2003 after a spell with Rosenborg in Norway and has since played over 150 times for the Russian champions.
âÂÂPeople were surprised when we won the league last year,â he said as he sipped a vodka and orange, âÂÂbut we played the best football all season. There was never any doubt that we would be champions.âÂÂ
Rubin have a predominantly Russian squad, but, as well as Macbeth, boast the first Spanish player to play in Russia, three Georgians, pairs of Turks and Argentinians but no merchants from Venice nor two gentlemen from Verona.
Some earn ã20,000 a week, but Macbeth is clear about who is mainly responsible for their success.
âÂÂOur manager,â he says. âÂÂHe knows everything about every player. He spends his afternoons on his sofa watching videos of players around the world.âÂÂ
We talked about hooliganism in Russia and domestic away games in Vladivostok.
âÂÂThatâÂÂs an eight hour flight,â he explained, âÂÂalmost twice what it has taken us to get to Barcelona.âÂÂ
Macbeth was distraught that he wouldnâÂÂt play against Barca.
âÂÂI trained with the team last night and I was first on to the pitch,â he said. âÂÂItâÂÂs amazing. I could see that some of the other guys were very nervous.âÂÂ
The insinuation was clear â he didnâÂÂt expect his team-mates to win, the shrews were not to be tamed.
Ibrahimovic has just scored a superb equaliser from a non existent angle and celebrates with the pomp of Julius Caesar, but this isnâÂÂt a match report.
Actually, it should be because Rubin have just gone 2-1 up after a counter-attack led to a supremely confident finish from the Turk, Gökdeniz Karadeniz.
The dozen Russian journalists are going mental in the press box, itâÂÂs exactly as they like it, and while Ibrahimovic has just struck the cross bar, Kazan are holding out against a clearly rattled Barca in this comedy of errors.
Toure has just hit the post, but the final whistle has gone, a tempest will ensue and the European treble winners are beaten.
It was their 13th game of the seasonâ¦will all be well that ends well?
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