Six departures in post-season manager massacre

Spanish football club presidents would love to tie managers up. No, not with twine to a railway line, but on minute-by-minute contracts stuffed with “I’ve just grown so tired of seeing your stupid, ugly face every day” sacking clauses.

Instead la Liga’s paunchy bigwigs are forced to concoct deals for their coaches that tend to run from season to season with plenty more managerial fish in the sea should any minion fail to agree to their terms. This is why there has been a glut of dismissals and desertions in Spain since the season ended on Saturday.

Quique Sánchez Flores sped up the whole predictable process by announcing his own departure before Atlético Madrid even played their last game; the country’s significantly sexier answer to Phil Brown ended his eyeliner-wearing time at the Vicente Calderón with apparently only José Antonio Reyes on speaking terms with him. And that’s not good, considering the winger is barely comprehensible even on a good day.

Despite taking over a third of the way through the year and guiding Sevilla to fifth, Gregorio Manzano was informed on Monday that his coaching services were no longer required and that his contract would not be extended. “They didn’t give me an explanation as I didn’t ask for one,” shrugged Manzano. “I don’t feel abandoned, I know how football works,” he added, stopping short of blurting "Am I bovvered?"

Manzano: "That's not good enough? No? OK."

In a most peculiar move, Real Sociedad have decided to sack Martín Lasarte after two years in San Sebastian, a period when the Uruguayan coach took la Real back to La Primera and kept them there without spending a penny on transfers. Obviously a Champions League spot was the requirement – despite president Jokin Aperribay claiming last August that “we love the job he’s doing” while extending Lasarte’s contract to 2012.

(Sevilla and Real Sociedad are reporting to be cat-scrapping and hair-pulling in the street outside Roxy’s over the alluring Marcelo Biesla, screaming “I saw him first!”. Both clubs wish to sign the former Argentina and Chile coach before inevitably firing him at the end of next season.)

Deportivo ditched Miguel Angel Lotina – or perhaps it was the other way round – after the Lord of Doom led the Galician club to relegation through negative tactics and dispensing a general air of wrist-slashing despondency around the club.

But that wasn’t before Lotina went all with the third person before the press, grumbling that “Lotina hasn’t been relegated, but Deportivo has and we are a lot of people. This year it seems like I was the only one who lost.” Aside from blaming his footballers, it would appear, Lotina also hinted that there may have be stranger goings on in la Liga that conspired to send Depor down. “There were difficult [refereeing decisions] to understand and very strange results.” So nothing at all to do with Deportivo only scoring 31 goals all season then?

Lotina: "Oh, why bother?"

Roberto Olabe’s plucky eight-game spell at bottom-dwellers Almería is over, whilst Miroslav Djukic ends his all too short sojourn at Hércules blaming a lack of harmony and Royston Drenthe for the Alicante side’s relegation.

One manager who will (probably) be back in the new season is José Mourinho, who broke his post Champions League semi-final vow of silence to record a video message to Real Madrid supporters all full of cheer and goodwill to mankind. Not really, it was narky, sarky and more than a touch finger-pointing at Barcelona and UEFA by calling for football to return to its moral roots.

“I’m talking about fair play, respect for the rival and that a red card to racism should be deeds and not words,” opined Mourinho, overlooking Madrid's deliberate – according to UEFA – yellow cards during a Champions League clash with Ajax, plus the insults The Special One doled out to fellow managers Manuel Preciado and Manuel Pellegrini. LLL is sure that he'll be lovely to next season's new batch of managers. 

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