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SHARES
3 April 2009
It’s PowerTable time again folks, as FourFourTwo turns to Catalyst’s analytical tool to predict how Premier League fixtures will unfold.
SHARES
3 April 2009
SaturdayRecreativo (16th) vs Sevilla (3rd)La Liga Loca knows it. You know it. Heck, even master prediction-maker (still waiting for Pedja’s sacking, still waiting) Roberto Gómez knows it - Manolo Jiménez will be shot out of Sevilla’s footballing toaster this summer and banished to the kitchen bin of doom. Although the Andalusian club is sitting pretty in third, the fact Juande Ramos’ replacement has bored the pants off the Sánchez Pizjuán faithful over the past year-and-a-half with his defensive stylings means that Jiménez’s goose is cooked. However, the man himself is still talking a good - if slightly insane - game over his future. “I want to take Sevilla to the Champions League and win it,” claimed a potentially happy-pill-taking Jiménez over the international break. LLL Prediction - DrawValladolid (9th) vs Barcelona (1st)This week, Barcelona’s title dreams were as dashed and pulverised as an unfortunate height-related accident that once befell one of La Liga Loca’s hamsters. Rather than being this season’s silverware that has been lost, it was the title from 1937 that was blown. Back in the days of the Spanish Civil war, a mini-league was held in the then Republican Zone between eight teams including Barcelona, Espanyol, Valencia and Levante. Barcelona won the truncated tournament, but it has never officially been recognised especially since the absent Madrid clubs were being shelled into oblivion by Franco at the time. However, Barça’s bid for their title to be recorded was rejected by the Spanish FA this week, who argue that it was not organised by themselves and therefore does not count. Meanwhile, in not-really-that-shocking news, there is a strong possibility that the Valladolid clash will be blacked out to all and sundry due to a TV contract dispute. LLL Prediction - Away winAlmería (13th) vs Villarreal (4th)The main advertising aim of Lynx - the poor man’s Old Spice - is to convince its potential buyers that just a couple of squirts from the sickly smell-masker are required to make someone with a face like a yawning Gordon Brown irresistible to hot ladeez. The Spanish version of the product, called Axe, has tested this marketing theory to breaking point by revealing one of the faces for the product in Spain.
SHARES
2 April 2009
Italy... a country united by its love of ham and hammy TV shows. There was an important World Cup qualifier taking place on Wednesday. But in the local watering holes of Milan all the talk was about how embarrassed Jose Mourinho looked when treated to a lap-dance of sorts by Aussie babe Dannah Matthews on the Chiambretti Night show.The programme airs on one of the Silvio Berlusconi channels and can only be described as a bizarre mix of political satire, drag queens and lots of bottoms – something akin to Prime Minister’s Questions in parliament.
SHARES
2 April 2009
Many, many moons ago, La Liga Loca declared itself as a candidate in the wacky race to be the next president of Real Madrid, to enormous global press interest.
SHARES
1 April 2009
"Football was always considered to be an almost animalistic expression of society. I disagree..."
SHARES
1 April 2009
One of La Liga Loca’s proudest moments was when, armed only with Dick Cheney’s ‘Torture for Dummies’ and a hairdryer, it managed to get a former Marca writer to admit that the paper did indeed make almost all of its stories up. The squealing scribe ‘fessed up that every summer a whiteboard would be wheeled into the paper’s editorial room, names of players would be written on it and front-page stories would then be written linking the unfortunate footballers to the various clubs in Madrid. More sympathetic, sunny-thinking folk would note that the paper still has to sell copies in the slow season and would argue that there’s nothing wrong with a bit of idle speculation in what is an entertainment industry. Others of the tinfoil beanie hat persuasion would rant that the whole process is planned and hatched in the dark, drizzly dungeons of Castle Greyskull. Indeed, the conspiracy-nutjobs will be having a fine time of it at the moment as the Florentino Pérez presidential run has caused every paper in Spain to leap on the bandwagon and get down and dirty with stories aimed at destabilising rivals. Sevilla have been hit by one such rumour, with stories floating around that president non-elect Pérez has his eyes on Monchi as his sporting director, come June. Meanwhile, AS meanwhile report that Jorge Valdano would be returning to the role he left in 2004. José Maria del Nido, Sevilla president, denied in the local press that Pérez - an honourable man, close personal friend, etc - would ever do such a thing. “I’ve convinced he won’t come for Monchi,” declared the club’s godfather. Meanwhile, Monchi himself shrugged off the rumours and moved into third-person crazyman form to claim that “while José Maria del Nido wants me at Sevilla, Monchi will be at Sevilla.”Monchi also predicted that his club were not far off winning the league title. “We are very near to finding the perfect solution,” claimed the sporting director remarking that there would be very little transfer activity from Sevilla this summer. Villarreal are another victim of more mucky messiness than Jacqui Smith’s expenses claim, with Barcelona based Sport linking their rival’s manager, Manuel Pellegrini, with the post of Real Madrid manager. AS, meanwhile, are covering all bases with one writer claiming that Carlo Ancelotti is Pérez’ first choice, while another backs Sport’s claims by saying that Pellegrini would be Jorge Valdano’s choice, should Valdano be selected by Pérez, should Pérez win and should Pérez decide to run for presidency, of course. Mundo Deportivo are busying themselves with a response to the entertaining argument from Víctor Valdés’ agent, Gines Carvajal, that his client should earn just as much as Iker Casillas. As is the paper’s normal routine, it leads with a story detailing Barcelona’s unhappiness with Carvajal’s complaints - without giving any quotes or substantiation to their claims, naturally. And to make an extra point, MD is also running a poll asking Barça fans to select their favourite alternative to Valdés once the keeper leaves the club in the summer. The current top of the goalkeeping pops is Villarreal’s flavour of the month, Diego López. Meanwhile, over in the Atlético’s wonderful world, Diego Forlán has shown that he has some hidden off-the-pitch talents. Although the striker is currently on international duty with Uruguay, it has been revealed in the Swedish press that the former Manchester United man has also dabbled in the world of popular music. And Shakira. But not in that way. Sometimes songwriter for the Colombian hip-shaker, Olaf Priol, claims that Forlán plays a notable musical role in one of her biggest selling records, ‘Whenever, Wherever’.“Shakira and Diego were both in Miami and met through a mutual friend,” recalled the one-time Roxette member. “They were in the recording studio, Diego was messing around with some pan pipes which he knows how to play. He ended up appearing on the record,” chuckled Oriol on the Atlético man’s claim to musical fame.

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