BotN: Relieved Messi admits he lost Ballon dÃ¢ÂÂOr trophy years ago
Barcelona star makes shocking admission to Back of the Net's John Foster...
After being awarded the Ballon dÃ¢ÂÂOr for the fourth consecutive year, Lionel Messi has spoken of his Ã¢ÂÂpride, happiness, and heartfelt reliefÃ¢ÂÂ that he will have at least one more year to locate the trophy he misplaced at some point in 2010.Ã¢ÂÂ¨Ã¢ÂÂ¨
Messi pipped longtime rival Cristiano Ronaldo and clubmate AndrÃÂ©s Iniesta to the trophy, gaining 40% of the vote. He admitted, however, that the fact 60% of the voters believed that the gong should have gone either to scampering hypnotist Iniesta or simpering cruiserweight Ronaldo made him a little anxious that they knew something was up.
Ã¢ÂÂI canÃ¢ÂÂt blame people for being suspicious,Ã¢ÂÂ Messi told FourFourTwo. Ã¢ÂÂIÃ¢ÂÂm sure they just want to check IÃ¢ÂÂm taking good care of it. Well, it was looking great in 2010.Ã¢ÂÂ
Messi has taken to spending most of his free time away from the training ground looking for the solid gold trophy, awarded every year since 1956 to the best player in the world.
"I'm sure I left that thing in here somewhere..."
Ã¢ÂÂIÃ¢ÂÂd love to be out crashing expensive cars and chasing supermodels, but that thingÃ¢ÂÂs not going to find itself,Ã¢ÂÂ he said. Ã¢ÂÂAt some point that steroided ferret-man [Ronaldo] is bound to win it, and heÃ¢ÂÂs going to smother me to death with body lotion if I donÃ¢ÂÂt hand it over.Ã¢ÂÂ
Ã¢ÂÂI thought IÃ¢ÂÂd found it a week ago, but it turned out to be my four Champions League top goalscorer trophies that had clumped together in a box. Maybe this year IÃ¢ÂÂll get round to putting them on the wall.Ã¢ÂÂ
There was also controversy around FIFAÃ¢ÂÂs Best Goal trophy, which was won by FenerbahceÃ¢ÂÂs Miroslav Stoch. As he collected the award, Stoch was knocked unconscious by a pool cue flung at him from forty metres away by an infuriated Zlatan Ibrahimovic.
Editor's note: this is satire and not a serious accusation - all quotes are fictionalised. But you knew that, because you're not stupid.
More from Back of the Net
Gold's children urge West Ham to sign Anelka, Batman & Spongebob
Mark Lawrenson spotted buying discounted Christmas crackers
Grumpy Villas-Boas takes negatives from Tottenham performance
Sturridge's Liverpool move held up by fact 'squillion' not a number
Brighton inadvertently sign former England keeper Chris Woods
Giggs causes concern with tendency to invoke 150-year-old rules