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BotN: Relieved Messi admits he lost Ballon d’Or trophy years ago

Barcelona star makes shocking admission toBack of the Net's John Foster... 

After being awarded the Ballon dâÂÂOr for the fourth consecutive year, Lionel Messi has spoken of his âÂÂpride, happiness, and heartfelt reliefâ that he will have at least one more year to locate the trophy he misplaced at some point in 2010.â¨â¨

Messi pipped longtime rival Cristiano Ronaldo and clubmate Andrés Iniesta to the trophy, gaining 40% of the vote. He admitted, however, that the fact 60% of the voters believed that the gong should have gone either to scampering hypnotist Iniesta or simpering cruiserweight Ronaldo made him a little anxious that they knew something was up.

âÂÂI canâÂÂt blame people for being suspicious,â Messi told FourFourTwo. âÂÂIâÂÂm sure they just want to check IâÂÂm taking good care of it. Well, it was looking great in 2010.âÂÂ

Messi has taken to spending most of his free time away from the training ground looking for the solid gold trophy, awarded every year since 1956 to the best player in the world.

"I'm sure I left that thing in here somewhere..."

âÂÂIâÂÂd love to be out crashing expensive cars and chasing supermodels, but that thingâÂÂs not going to find itself,â he said. âÂÂAt some point that steroided ferret-man [Ronaldo] is bound to win it, and heâÂÂs going to smother me to death with body lotion if I donâÂÂt hand it over.âÂÂ

âÂÂI thought IâÂÂd found it a week ago, but it turned out to be my four Champions League top goalscorer trophies that had clumped together in a box. Maybe this year IâÂÂll get round to putting them on the wall.âÂÂ

There was also controversy around FIFAâÂÂs Best Goal trophy, which was won by FenerbahceâÂÂs Miroslav Stoch. As he collected the award, Stoch was knocked unconscious by a pool cue flung at him from forty metres away by an infuriated Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

Editor's note: this is satire and not a serious accusation - all quotes are fictionalised. But you knew that, because you're not stupid. 

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