Has Cuco's Cookie Crumbled?
As expected, the Sevilla v Osasuna post-match mayhem has caused more foul-smelling fallout than a dozen rumbling Russian reactors blowing their tops.
But it is not the water throwing, the neck grabbing or police punching that has caused all the to-do but the very, very alleged accusation from a Sevilla blogger that Cuco 'the Hulk' Ziganda had yelled something very unsavoury about Antonio Puerta, during the match.
"If I did say this, then I'll retire," said the vein-throbbing Osasuna coach, who advised that the whole matter was in the hands of his lawyers who are considering suing the author of the original allegation.
Naturally, everyone and everybody involved in the matter - and, of course, those with no connection whatsoever - have thrown their hot-tempered hats into the footballing ring of fire.
"Ziganda is a gentleman, not like some of those in Sevilla," claimed Navarre's regional president, Miguel Sanz, poking his nose in where it really wasn't wanted.
Osasuna pressie, Patxi Izco - Basque scrabble must see some high scoring scorchers - has gone on the offensive and brought up the terrible memory of last season's UEFA cup match against Sevilla.
Izco recalls with a sob and a shudder in AS that he and his delegates were forced to sit in row three of the PizjuÃÂ¡n presidential balcony and not the first. "It was offensive," stuttered the traumatised titan, who must still be taking counselling sessions to get over the experience, the poor baby.
A brand new week means a brand new round of weird wackiness at Valencia - now officially the worst club in the city and probably the whole world when looking at recent results.
El Mundo and AS write that Juan Bautista Soler - a man unable to attend Mestalla on doctor's orders - was on the brink of resigning after the Villarreal defeat, last weekend.
But instead of the board telling Daddy's boy to bugger off, they persuaded him to stay. And this is why Soler's was in attendance at a meeting on Monday to decide the fate of Ronald Koeman.
Although the club's spokesman, Rafa Solem, claimed that "we have total confidence in the coach," Marca reckon that if Valencia don't pull off a decent result against AtlÃÂ©tico Madrid in the cup on Wednesday and Valladolid in the league on Sunday, then Koeman's hook will be well and truly slung.
Seeing as the Dutchman was handed a contract till 2010, it is unlikely that he will be that bothered should it come to pass.
There was fighting talk from the players - again - with Raul Albiol declaring that it is 'madness' to talk about relegation but that the team needs to be "practical and forget about nice football." La Liga Loca is already looking forward to its trip to the CalderÃÂ³n on Wednesday night.
Tuesday sees Marca diving into the murky world of Spanish politics with what will be an entertainingly embittered general election just around the corner. Roberto Gomez, for one, has declared that he is scribbling his X in the box marked Mariano Rajoy, the conservative opposition leader, on March 9th.
And the reason why the bearded Galician has won over Gomez' political heart is because Rajoy "supports Deportivo but the team he really loves is Real Madrid," unlike Zapatero who has a fondness for Barcelona but "clearly likes sport, but nothing more."
More importantly for Gomez, the PP primero can also help get him his lucrative old weekly chat show gig back, if he gets into power. "Rajoy reads Marca and would like to see the return of El Rondo."
At time of writing, the PSOE have been disgracefully silent on their policy on the recent cancellation of the footballing shout-fest.
Another of the paper's writers who has come over all political for no apparent reason is Sergi Arola, who rants entertainingly about people stopping him smoking and driving too fast.
"It's like being under Franco," he grumbles. "Why don't we ban Messi, Kun and Robinho from playing badly under threat of expulsion?" is the logical conclusion to those trying to prevent him from running over his fellow citizens or giving them passive lung cancer.