RESULTS Sat Feb 27 Barcelona 2-1 Málaga, Getafe 0-2 Real Zaragoza, Tenerife 1-5 Real Madrid Sun Feb 28 Atlético Madrid 4-1 Valencia, Deportivo Xerez 1-1 Espanyol, Racing Santander 0-2 AlmerÃÂa, Real Valladolid 1-2 Mallorca, Sevilla 0-0 Athletic Bilbao, Sporting Gijón 3-2 Osasuna, Villarreal 1-0 Deportivo La Coruña
Spanish fixtures, results & table here
Good Day
Atlético Madrid
If Mensa were to update their IQ tests on a regular basis, the following question would have been included in their most recent edition:
âÂÂComplete the sequence - Atlético 2-1 Barcelona; AlmerÃÂa 1-0 Atlético; Galatasaray 1-2 Atlético...âÂÂ
The correct answer, of course, would have been Atlético 0-7 Valencia.
But, on Sunday night, the Rojiblancos decided to put on their pulling pants, doused themselves in Old Spice and gave their long-suffering supporters a night on the tiles.
However, supporters were as grumpy as ever during SundayâÂÂs clash and with good reason, too, as referee, Pérez Burrull, missed a clear penalty for Atleti after a trip on José Antonio Reyes and was about to miss another after a handball by Carlos Marchena, before his fourth official pointed out the mistake.
Whether or not he is entitled to do that could well be the hottest of topics in Spain over the week.
Nevertheless, a sprightly Atleti clawed back the 1-0 deficit from the subsequent spot kick after David Silva had taken the lead for Valencia after some top-class comedy defending from the Calderón club.
And the home side continued to pound their 10-man opposition, who had César Sánchez to thank for keeping the scoreline down to a respectable four.
After the very deserved victory, Rojiblanco manager Quique Sánchez-Flores claimed that the 'one good game, four rubbish ones' tendencies of Atlético had been banished for good. This time, he may well be right.
Gonzalo HiguaÃÂn
The double against Tenerife was HiguaÃÂnâÂÂs fifth brace of the season and his 15th and 16th goals in la Liga.
HiguaÃÂn is the most effective forward in la Primera, according to AS, with a goal every 77 minutes.
HiguaÃÂn is Real MadridâÂÂs top scorer in the league, this season, a position he occupied in the last campaign.
HiguaÃÂn is currently paid â¬1.5 million a year with a new deal reportedly offering the Argentinian a rise to â¬2.5 million.
Karim Benzema is on â¬8.5 million a year, note Sport.
âÂÂNobody at Madrid can complain about their contracts,â said the clubâÂÂs sporting director Jorge Valdano on Saturday night.
Especially if they are one of Florentino Pérezâ underperforming pets, it seems.
Dani Alves
The blog would not want to go as far as to claim that Barcelona depend on one player alone, but it certainly has a whiff of it with the sudden return to form of the Catalan club coinciding with reinsertion of Dani Alves (along with the failure of any Málaga players to mark him).
The Brazilian was magnificent as ever throughout SaturdayâÂÂs 2-1 win, but it was in the assist for BarcelonaâÂÂs winning strike where Alves really showed his true godlike genius.
At 1-1 with just seven minutes to go (and Real Madrid having won already), the full-back collected a wonderful pass from Xavi and took the time to look up and roll the ball along to Leo Messi rather than blast it at the Málaga goal - something that La Liga Loca would have done.
And thatâÂÂs why Dani Alves is one of the best players in the world and the blog is merely writing about him, having failed to impress an Ipswich Town scout at the age of nine, something that La Liga Loca is NOT AT ALL BITTER ABOUT.
Roberto
GetafeâÂÂs Roberto Soldado requires an average of 31 shots for every one of his goals. Probably.
On Saturday, ZaragozaâÂÂs debuting on-loan-from-Atlético goalkeeper Roberto saved every one of them, along with a few free-kicks launched his way to keep a clean sheet while...
Chupete Suazo
...his team-mate Chupete Suazo whacked home two first-half strikes to make it four goals in the last five for the forward, despite the blog calling the Chilean forward a chunky-headed trundling loon on his arrival at Zaragoza over the transfer winter window.
Villarreal
Like La Liga Loca rubbing in sunscreen, VillarrealâÂÂs 1-0 win over Dull-Deportivo wasnâÂÂt pretty to watch but it was very, very necessary.
Xerez
Xerez coach Gorosito may have called the 1-1 draw against Espanyol âÂÂa bad match, really bad,â and claimed that it was the worst since heâÂÂd been at the club, but it proves the blogâÂÂs rather tenuous claim that Xerez are not as bad as their 12 lonely points may suggest.
Yes, âÂÂtis true that the bottom of the table team have only won two league games all year, scored 14 and conceded 44 (fewer than Tenerife and Zaragoza, mind).
But the plus side is that Xerez have only been given a proper thrashing twice, in their spell in la Primera with five-goal drubbings against Real Madrid and Getafe.
The blog maintains that with even a half-decent striker in their ranks, Xerez would have had a fighting chance of survival this season.
Mallorca
The Balearic side showed their incredible cojones by bouncing back from their first home defeat of the year in the league last weekend with just their second away win on Sunday against Valladolid.
ItâÂÂs a result which sees them in fifth and just three points off Sevilla. Which is fairly astonishing, really.
AlmerÃÂa
The general belief on the blog and amongst its legions of followers may be that there is very little point to AlmerÃÂa, la PrimeraâÂÂs answer to Wigan.
However, AlmerÃÂa couldnâÂÂt care less with Juanma Lillo set to keep the club in la Primera with a run that sees the southern side unbeaten in five and having picked up three victories in that spell - the most recent of which was the Albert Crusat-inspired smash-and-grab win over Racing.
Sporting
A team that pretty much everyone loves in La Liga - not something that could be written about the previous entry - is Sporting, mainly due to the wonderful Manuel Preciado and their fun, fantastic fans.
So Spain can rejoice in back-to-back victories for the Asturian club after wins over Zaragoza and a coming-from-behind special against Osasuna.
Bad Day
Cristiano Ronaldo
In an attempt to correct many of the imbalances of the universe - sadly, the blog canâÂÂt do anything about the existence of Spanish TV channel Telecinco - La Liga Loca is going to regularly rip into Cristiano Ronaldo in an equal amount to the praise thrown in his direction by a loved-up Marca.
Against Tenerife, Ronaldo was petulant, pouting, selfish and egotistical. And this is why...
1) In one mazy run upfield, the Madrid forward chose to take on three defenders but failed and won a free-kick instead (which he subsequently took and missed) rather than pass to the completely free HiguaÃÂn.
2) After a harmless 50-50 challenge, Ronaldo dropped to the ground holding his arm and lay there a bit. Sergio Ramos was on the ball at the time, didnâÂÂt quite know what to do, so kicked it out at the same time as Ronaldo sulkily rose to his feet having been ignored by the ref. Tenerife attacked from the throw-in, which was not too far from the Real Madrid box.
3) When failing to control a pass properly, Ronaldo ran off the pitch, looked to the heavens, spat, sulked and spent five minutes wandering back to the halfway line while his outnumbered team-mates defended another Tenerife attack.
Heck, Ronaldo was so âÂÂplenty of IâÂÂs in TEAMâ that even AS editor Alfredo Relaño has attacked him for failing to realise that âÂÂfootball is not tennis, it is a team game,â and is rather worried that Ronaldo will do anything to become Pichichi this season.
âÂÂSuch an individual battle [with HiguaÃÂn] would not be good,â predicts Relaño.
GetafeâÂÂs âÂÂBilly Big B****cksâÂÂ
âÂÂOur worst match of the season,â blasted Getafe coach Michel after the 2-0 home defeat to Zaragoza. And he knows exactly who to blame - those members of his squad who believe they're slightly better than they actually are.
âÂÂThis normally happens when they begin to hear the songs of the sirens and get confused,â noted the square-jawed coach, who happily named the likes of Pedro León and Roberto Soldado on his list of shame as receiving and falling for the constant press praise.
Tenerife
Real Madrid were clearly superior to the Canary Islanders but were certainly helped in their opening goal in the 5-1 win, with the Tenerife back four shepherding Marcelo through for the assist to HiguaÃÂnâÂÂs opener.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic
Punished for every âÂÂfoulâ for simply being taller than his opponent and had a goal disallowed for goodness knows what.
Sevilla
Never has the blog been more grateful for a stroll down to the Vicente Calderón. The trip to see Atlético spared La Loca Loca from another half of SevillaâÂÂs clash with Athletic â an encounter that may have improved dramatically from the first 45 minutes, but with the encounter ending goalless, La Liga Loca somehow doubts it.
Valladolid
Things ainâÂÂt looking too bright for the purple-shirted players of Valladolid with their side third from bottom of the table and four points from safety.
Former boss José Luis Mendilibar saw his side repeatedly punished for playing the offside trap on the halfway line. His replacement, Onésimo, has yet to win since his arrival in Pucela for failing to close down games.
âÂÂIf we score a goal, weâÂÂll always try and score another,â claimed the coach after SundayâÂÂs 2-1 defeat to Mallorca in a match Valladolid were winning.
Espanyol
Wetter than a newtâÂÂs notebook on their travels this season, with just one away win all year. Only managed a point at Xerez.â¨
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